I want to get fired, please help.

W1NN1NG

W1NN1NG

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Jun 1, 2011
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So I have been working a dead end 9 to 5 for the past 3 years, and due to good income last year I can qualify for California's highest unemployment payout ($450/week), the equivalent of being paid $10/hr full time. I need to get laid off in order to collect!!!

I really want to focus on my online monies and get out of this dead end job. I want to go on unemployment and put my online monies in my wife's name til I make enough paper to go off unemployment and into online monies full time.

It is a sales job, and I have been trying to purposely not make my numbers for the past 2 months, and my management is trying to "help me" get back on track. I literally brose the web all day. I respond to customer emails, but I don't take any phone calls and just let them hit voice mail.

Any idea's on what I can do to get laid off without doing anything malignant or insane that would disqualify me from unemployment?
 


Apparently, if you get fired for poor performance on the job, you will still be eligible for unemployment. That's somewhat surprising to me, but that's what happens when you live in a welfare state. You may as well milk it for all it's worth.

Just continue slacking off. You're already on their radar for poor performance. If you continue, you'll wind up getting fired eventually. In the meantime, you're getting paid for doing virtually no work. Sounds like a win-win to me.

bb_wolfe, I'm curious why you even think this would be a bad idea. Do you seriously think having a bad reference from a dead-end job (which he may as well just leave off his resume in the future) is a big deal? Sure, some people think it's scummy or immoral to game the unemployment system, but it's certainly not stupid if you can get away with it.
 
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I literally did the same exact thing you are proposing. I hated my fucking job, knew if I could just get unemployment monies it would be enough to IM fulltime.

So I was a total dick to everyone at work, did whatever I wanted, never hit any of my numbers on purpose. My plan fell into place perfectly, my district manager fired me and happily skipped home and filed for unemployment.

A month went by and I never saw any of my nigger rich welfare money. Got a letter in the mail, my former employer appealed my claim and long story short I lost my appeal because I got fired for "misconduct".

I think your idea is awesome, but be careful to only get fired for job performance and dont be a d-bag like me.
 
- showing your genitalia to your boss will probably work, unless it backfires and he/she is into it, abd since he/she is your boss sexual harassment does not apply!

- openly drink beer at work

- create an unstable work environment

- say you voted for ralph nader in 2004

- ask for an over the top raise

- insult your boss' family

and the list goes on!

or work a bit extra and do IM + work and don't be a freeloader if you don't have to be. people like you give unemployment benefits a bad name and make me wanna vote republican in stead of sane
 
This is an interesting thread b/c half the people reading it are thinking: "Yeah I'd file for unemployment in your situation too" and the other half are thinking "what kind of a fucking douchebag would willingly choose to file for unemployment and bankrupt his state... And admit it in a public forum?!?"

It really separates the ballers from the losers here at WF.

As for me, I didn't file unemployment on my last J.O.B.... I just got tired enough one day and without any warning whatsoever, walked into my bosses office and told him that my parents were just killed in a car wreck halfway across the country.

I left hot coffee on my desk and everything.... They never saw my ass again. -Works like a charm.
 
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Considering the amount of money that will be stolen from each US citizen throughout the course of their lifetime in the form of insane fees, taxes, wasted effort due to regulations, and outright corruption... it's perfectly morally justified to get as much of that back as possible through whatever means possible. They take from you with guns; you're an idiot if you don't try to take some of it back.
 
How I quit my 9-6 50 hour per week sales job 5 years ago and never looked back...

1. Busted my ass as a salesman. Made good money.

2. Went home every night and studied IM. I got into it by promoting online poker. Taught myself HTML/CSS/Other internet shit after work and when I had downtime in the office.

3. Signed up with Azoogle. Bid .05 on the content network on the kewyord "myspace" driving traffic to a webfetti landing page. Turns out I was lucky as shit and turned a ~$3.5k profit my first month on my first Adwords campaign.

4. Me being lucky didn't occur to me. Thought I was a marketing god. Quit my job. Within a month the campaign dried up (I probably had $3k to my name when I quit), other attempts at running offers failed, I rapidly started going broke.

5. Being too stubborn to go back to "work" I busted my ass writing cheap articles, creating and flipping websites and barely scraping by for a year or so.

6. After busting my ass I luckily fell into what I do now, which is basically helping companies launch products online. I love it.

Honestly dude, if you're taking the mindset of "I want free moniez until I learn how to make moniez" instead of "I'm going to bust my ass every day and do what it takes" then I think you're going to have a hard time.

Just work. And then instead of watching TV or having a social life work more at home until you can make the leap.
 
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grim001 said:
Considering the amount of money that will be stolen from each US citizen throughout the course of their lifetime in the form of insane fees, taxes, wasted effort due to regulations, and outright corruption... it's perfectly morally justified to get as much of that back as possible through whatever means possible. They take from you with guns; you're an idiot if you don't try to take some of it back.
Click to expand...


It's this fucked up mentality that got us in the position we're in now.
 
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lukep said:
This is an interesting thread b/c half the people reading it are thinking: "Yeah I'd file for unemployment in your situation too" and the other half are thinking "what kind of a fucking douchebag would willingly choose to file for unemployment and bankrupt his state... And admit it in a public forum?!?"

It really separates the ballers from the losers here at WF.
Click to expand...

+rep. My thoughts exactly.
 
grim001 said:
Considering the amount of money that will be stolen from each US citizen throughout the course of their lifetime in the form of insane fees, taxes, wasted effort due to regulations, and outright corruption... it's perfectly morally justified to get as much of that back as possible through whatever means possible. They take from you with guns; you're an idiot if you don't try to take some of it back.
Click to expand...

If you want low taxes and no regulation, move to Somalia, ass. People complain all the time about this shit, but never put their money where their mouth is and GTFO.

Now, I think the real question is "How can I get motivated?", because to me, that's the issue here. You have a slackass job that you don't have to work very hard at, and yet you're not already 'stacking paper' in your spare time. How about you do your job, earn your paycheck, and spend your nights and weekends learning IM, then quit your job and not look for unemployment.

If you're not willing to bust your ass and use your free time to learn about the job you want to have, what's going to be different when you're on the dole and sitting at home with porn and your XBOX?

I have a full time job, and a part time one, and volunteer, and still find time, mostly at night and on weekends, to learn about this stuff so one day I can be location and employer independent. Shit, if you have any marketable skills in the IM arena, linking, writing, WTFever, you should be able to make $10/hour while actually learning something about the industry.
 
cheshire said:
It's this fucked up mentality that got us in the position we're in now.
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Agreed. Especially since if you're working a typical 9 to 5, you're barely paying any taxes anyway and you're actually BENEFITING from the tax system. It's the real ballers who are paying the higher taxes, not you.
 
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