So someone is dying

Man, you're making this all about you. Sure it's a little bit uncomfortable. I hate going to see anyone in a hospital for any reason...just dislike being in a hospital. When I was a kid, we used to go see my grandmother in a nursing home. Absolutely hated it. She was so senile and out of it, she would talk about her room like it was her house. She'd say things like, "the other day I was in the front room there and couldn't find my glasses," when she'd been in that home for months. Then one day she was gone.

Another grandmother actually asked to see me. She was in a home as well, but everyone knew she didn't have long. I feel fortunate that I was able to go see her before she passed. That happened less than a week after I was there.

It's tough, but not a bit of this is about you. Man up and go visit her.
 


what a bunch of bullshit in this thread.

Shortly, she'll be worm food. Unless you had a close relationship and you know its causing her suffering that you aren't being there, do whatever you want. Even if it made her smile for an extra 5 minutes because you came, you can't take a smile with you.

If you don't want to go, don't go.

You guys can say I lack compassion or whatever. But most of you are being irrational about this.
 
When my grandpa was on his death couch, he laid there dying, not saying anything or drinking/eating anything for like 2 days. When my sister and I finally showed up to say our goodbyes, he died within minutes.

They say that even when you know you're dying, you will hold on until you've said goodbye to everyone that you care about, if you can. It fucking sucks but the right thing to do is to go say your goodbyes. You'll be glad you did eventually, if not right away.
 
I went through something with both of my grandmas when I was 12. My first grandma found out she had brain cancer a month later, because her doctor decided he wanted to take a last minute family vacation to the Caribbean. Anyways, she got surgery and lived roughly another 9 months. I spent as much time with her as possible. It got to the point where she did not even know my name anymore, but I knew I would rather spend what little time I had with her, then regret avoiding it ten years later. She died 4 days before Christmas.

Three weeks later I found out my other Grandma had ovarian cancer. She only made it six months before it spread to her lungs and ultimate killed her. Once again, I spent as much time with her as possible. I even skipped school multiple times just to spend the day with her, especially at the end.

With all this in mind, as others have stated, being with people during there last moments in life is arguably the toughest thing to endure. However, it may be the most rewarding. Both of my grandma's taught me so much about life, family, friends, everything... and that is something that I will never forget. Despite the fact you know she's dying Rage, she needs you and your family to be with her. Dying isn't fun, it isn't easy and it sure as hell isn't something to go through alone.
 
Rage9 said:
The question is why to visit? It will only make you feel worse than anything. Can you really go visit a dying person who's almost for certainly going to die and walk away from it unphased? The simple fact of it is that we all go at one point or another, and why to put that strain on yourself.
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It's not about you, asshole. Stop being so fucking selfish and go visit her in her last days. She could give fuck all about anything else in this world right now except her family. She's DYING for fucks sake. She wants to know you guys are ok, and all the sacrifices she made in her life for your mom, and subsequently you was worth it. Go visit her, stop being a prick worrying about your poor wittle feelings getting hurt. WHHAAAAAA!
 
Rage9 said:
The question is why to visit? It will only make you feel worse than anything. Can you really go visit a dying person who's almost for certainly going to die and walk away from it unphased? The simple fact of it is that we all go at one point or another, and why to put that strain on yourself.
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to make THEM feel better, not you.

When you're lying there dying you might appreciate someone caring and not being completely selfish.
 
My grandma died of cancer last year and about a month before she went to the hospital she told me, "I probably won't be here in a month. I don't want you to see me any worse than I am right now". A month later she was on her death bed and in a drug induced coma. My family called dozens of times a day, trying to get me to come see her one last time. I didn't.

No regrets.
 
Look at it this way:

Regardless of your feelings, people are destined to die. Accept death as inevitable for all of us, and embrace it for what it is.
 
How close are you to her? Personally I'm not sentimental fuck like a lot of people are. I would decide whether to go see her based on how much I love her and not what our blood relation is. If someone has a problem with that tell them that you didn't see any reason to be fake and visit someone that you weren't even close to to begin with.
 
Go see her, bro. I was actually going to make a similar thread. The same thing is happening to my great-grandmother. She is 100 years old. I'd love for one last chance to see her, but unless I skip all my college finals and interviews for a few job positions, there is no way I can.

If you have the way, do it. You won't regret it. I regret not having a chance to say goodbye to my Grandpa before he passed away. If it was you dying, you'd want your loved ones close, correct?
 
be there when she dies. it will hurt and crush you but it needs to be done. i was there for my mom and it was the hardest but most beautiful things that ever happened to me.

you should be there for your family anyway. man up. you will regret it the rest of your life if you don;t.
 
subigo said:
My grandma died of cancer last year and about a month before she went to the hospital she told me, "I probably won't be here in a month. I don't want you to see me any worse than I am right now". A month later she was on her death bed and in a drug induced coma. My family called dozens of times a day, trying to get me to come see her one last time. I didn't.

No regrets.
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That's a little different - she'd basically told you not to come.

Even though I went in to see my grandma lots during her illness, and I used to help feed her and stuff, in the final hours, I didn't go, and nobody asked me to by that stage she was pretty much sedated all the time anyway.

You don't have to post vigil 24 hours a day until their heart stops beating. Just being there sometimes and comforting them a little is enough.
 
There will be people there you DO care about who are struggling to process her death.

Your mom is probably not doing well.

If you rack your brain and still can't find any reason to go visit your grandma, do it because your mom needs you.

Your general apathy will broadcast as a sort of strength to those crumbling around you.
 
fact 1:

a few of the fags in here have never dealt with serious crap in life except your campaigns tanking or deciding which cream is best to jack off...


fact 2: let's see how you feel when later in life you get a tumor in your balls and nobody wants to see you because it is sad TO THEM.
 
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