Rogerrabbit: Useless Cunt (or "Stupid Bitch")

rogerrabbit

rogerrabbit

Generic Black Guy
Jan 5, 2009
886
13
0
OK, I'm fucking furious at this point and hope this ranks so this shit doesn't waste any one else's time.

So I applied for a merchant account with Accept Pay. This is the American Express branded version of Pay Simple. They're a merchant account provider. Rates are "decent" but their solution happened to fit really well into my business so I figured "why not.' After a couple months if I found better pricing elsewhere I would just switch. No big deal.

So I do the whole application, 6 fucking pages. No sweat. Submit it. Alright Katie Donahue

So I get a call from this smelly cunt the next day saying that everything I submitted was in perfect order and I'm approved. They just need a metric shit ton of paper work to get things going on their side. Alright, no problem. I literally have all day to deal with this waste of life so figure why not? Anyway, I'm approved and just need to give them my info so they can get everything in order.

So I fax her my DBA paperwork, 3 fucking bank statements, my state ID, a voided check. Did this all in one fax.

The fuckup, Katie Donahue receives it and she can't find the voided check. She had the ID though. Odd. They were sent on the same page. So I'm in disbelief that this fuck is making it look like Hellen Keller could do a better job reviewing paperwork. Looking to get done as quickly as possible, I resend the check.

Next she tells me that the check I sent needs to have my business name printed on it for it to be accepted. Fine, I print a check, void it and send that to her.

At this point they send me a million emails with my login information and documentation from PCI about how to process cards correctly and safely. I shoot her a call and ask if I'm good to go. She insists, my account was approved and I can go right in and start processing right away. Thank GOD for her I don't have any cards to charge today. Mainly because I've been spending 8 hours dealing with her bullshit. But I'm happy. Everything is in and done.

Now this is where things start to get interesting. She calls me up saying that there's something weird on my credit report and I need to verify my social security number. I do so and she confirms they ran the right SSN. I was approved just as they expected. She says something still isn't right and asks me to send in my social security card, claiming that will clear this all up. Not having any choice, I comply with the bitch. I don't know about you. But my social security card is not kept in a very accessible place so digging this up was a bitch. But remember. This is going to clear it all up and keep me processing. They checked twice and I'm already approved.

So she sends me an email saying she received it and all is well.

So this Katie Donahue piece of shit just called me and sounds *too* nice. So I'm like what's up? Now she goes on to inform me of the following bullshit. Apparently, when they ran my SSN 2x, approves me and has me start processing they did something wrong. "This has never, ever happened before" she assures me. So when they approved me in the beginning and asked me to send in the paper work they "read my credit report wrong." This lead to her wrongfully approving me in the first place. Now meanwhile I've been jumping through hoops to satisfy her incredibly kinky paperwork fetish for about 6 hours. Just to find out that because of a fuck up on her part.....I didn't have to do any of it in the first place, because it doesn't apply to me. I never was approved.

Katie Donahue gets my douche of the day award and I just hope I can prevent people from dealing with the should-have-been-aborted waste of life.
 


Oh I can't edit, but even after I submitted my DBA

So I fax her my DBA paperwork, 3 fucking bank statements, my state ID, a voided check. Did this all in one fax.
Click to expand...

She calls me back a few hours later saying she CANT FIND MY DBA. Granted, she has the forms that were faxed before that page, and everything after....but that form seems to have gone missing in transit. odd

--

EVEN BETTER! How did I forget this shit?? When she asked for my Social Security card and to verify my SSN she claimed "Yea something along the lines of there were notes on your credit report FROM A DATE BEFORE YOUR DATE OF BIRTH.....this just sent up a red flag so we need to reverify."

WTF....So I ran my own credit report and let's just say there was no proof that I was applying for credit cards from the womb.
 
Her inability to receive faxes or perform basic secretarial-level office duties sounds like her fault. But it probably wasn't her fault they had to come back and deny your ass... her supervisor or underwriting department probably found something after the fact about you that wayyy outweighed keeping you on as a customer. I'd be more curious what that tidbit is to get them all in a tizzy about you.
 
invisible777 said:
Her inability to receive faxes or perform basic secretarial-level office duties sounds like her fault. But it probably wasn't her fault they had to come back and deny your ass... her supervisor or underwriting department probably found something after the fact about you that wayyy outweighed keeping you on as a customer. I'd be more curious what that tidbit is to get them all in a tizzy about you.
Click to expand...
Lack of credit. No more, no less. But don't pull a Katie Donahue and accept me requesting all the paperwork, just to tell me I have no credit.
 
invisible777 said:
Her inability to receive faxes or perform basic secretarial-level office duties sounds like her fault. But it probably wasn't her fault they had to come back and deny your ass... her supervisor or underwriting department probably found something after the fact about you that wayyy outweighed keeping you on as a customer. I'd be more curious what that tidbit is to get them all in a tizzy about you.
Click to expand...

If Katie Donahue had done her job properly from the start, she would have known just by looking at his credit report that he would not have been accepted. It is Katie Donahue's fault and no one elses.
 
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