Relationships.

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evelynds

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May 13, 2009
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Not into big intros so I'll get straight to the point.

I'm in my early 20s. My own friends slowly get married, earlier friends already married, senior folks breaking up or meeting new people. These relationships are all between educated, well-behaved couples.

Still, every single relationship has three things in common:

  • The males met the women in search of support and comfort. Women met the males in search of ??? [...] and end up building their own world with their children. By any measure... I have to conclude the husband served no other purpose but as as a tool to this objective. Post-childbirth, the relationships are no longer husband+wife. They're husband, wife+children.

  • Despite unhappiness or disagreements, the only reason the females do not walk is because they wouldn't be able to keep up mortgage payments on their own. Simple as that. Divorce = wife takes husband's car/house/50% networth, however they don't always have a profession that would allow them to continuously pay off mortgages while taking full financial responsibility of children + keeping up their lifestyle. Mortgage payment security is the only and sole reason they stay. When the mortgage is paid off, or there was no mortgage to begin with, they walk and collect their divorce paycheck.

  • The husband ends up 'cheating' with his secretary, a bar dancer, stripper or restaurant waitress because he remembers back on his motives on relationships and remembers he just wanted a person to be there for him with comfort and support. Instead he's become a slave to a woman + her children.

  • Extra: Some of these relationships could be described more like women courting, as opposed to actually being in love. In private conversation, they express tiredness and fatigue. They might have complete opposite life objectives compared to what they told their husbands 5 minutes ago before hanging up with 'i love you' -- it's bizarre........
In an age where everything has to represent financial value, the sentence I love you is reduced to frivolous rambling. Telling someone I love you over and over does not make bread appear on the table the next morning. On the contrary- telling someone I hate you and collecting a settlement yields plenty of bread on the table. In terms of evolutionary science, -Darwinism if you will- the entire puzzle fits into place.

Evolution mixed with Human Courts removed emotion from love, and replaced it with financial logic. So how does the modern male fulfill his needs? Hookers? Escorts? Date waitresses and hope they never speak a lawyer? Mistresses? [Mistresses is how politicians and monarchs solve it] Seek wives in East-EU or Asia and pray she wasn't raised with MTV? [ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminism_in_Japan ]

PS: this is an earnest topic. I personally believe mistresses are the way to go.

How you think?
 


I think it was Woody Allen who said that Sex for Money is MUCH cheaper than Sex for Free. I agree with him.
 
Escorts satiate your need for sex, but they won't be there to provide the support you mention. Long-term girlfriends FTW. Chances are the relationship with naturally find its own end.
 
lol. I am full of fire :) everything I wrote comes from observations within direct circles. It's something I hope and plan to avoid.
Lord B said:
I think it was Woody Allen who said that Sex for Money is MUCH cheaper than Sex for Free. I agree with him.
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Striking sentence, heh.
 
If you get married:

1. Wait until you're in your (late) 30s or even 40s and financially set.
2. Follow the golden rule: her_age = (your_age / 2) + 7
3. prenup
 
datzFdup said:
If you get married:

1. Wait until you're in your (late) 30s or even 40s and financially set.
2. Follow the golden rule: her_age = (your_age / 2) + 7
3. prenup
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Solid advice...

About #3, I was shocked to discover where I live, divorce law is now frequently based on labor law. Previously, prenups alone would hold married couples in check. After people found out marriage prenups leave too much open to speculation and crafty interpretation, they instead opted for registered partnership, derivatives etc. etc. But no matter the name of the relationship, women kept wanting their paychecks. So now it is possible for women to demand the same earnings of terminating full marriage even if they are not married, nor possess a registered relationship of any sort.

How law managed to do this? Simple: they took the entire passage from Labor law. An employer who works mostly with subcontractors and/or outsourced talents, who hires them consistently enough to be considered a full employer, has liabilities in terms of social security/ending of contracts [even if there exists no employment contract per se]. Now, unmarried women can do the same if they can prove in court the man was their primary source of livelihood!

It really proves how modern socio-economics could care less who is 'in love' with who. All that matters is which party guarantees financial security to another.
dexter.ss said:
eveylynds, read this shit. it will blow your mind out of your face. The Ladder Theory
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A little on the cynical side, but true...
 
I sympathize with your emo pain

Eat_The_Pain_Away.jpg


So you're saying people get in relationships for the wrong reasons?...umm..yeah I can agree with that.
Why must you do the same?
 
I think marriage is bullshit really. Unless you're planning to settle down, raise children, and have a family, what's the benefit of marriage over a long term relationship?
I can't imagine committing to one person for the rest of your life. Who knows how your plans/goals/status will change in 5 or 10 years? You could be looking for something completely different by then, if you're married you might not have a choice.

Marriage...the ultimate rebill.
 
lol. Maybe I'm just lucky but I disagree. So many people are fuckin' stupid about relationships/marriage these days. Several of my friends have either gotten married, or entertained the idea of marriage when it was 100% obvious to me it was the wrong thing to do..

It takes longer than a few months, a year, or even 2 years to really get to know someone. IMO, minimum of 3 years to seriously be with someone in a committed relationship before you can even consider marriage.

It's why many marriages end in divorce. Get married too soon, they inevitably get to know the real person in a few years and bam, don't like this fucker, let's divorce.

My wife and I have been married 2+ years, have been with each other for 8 - had a baby 3 months ago, things are going good and I couldn't be much happier. Could things go south in the future? Yeah, but that's not the point. I'm doing what I want now, living life how I want, and not holding back because things might end up ugly in the future.
 
Aren't you the idiot that PMed Me? Your first mistake is not understanding women. Your second mistake is coming here for relationship at advice (for the love of God).

evelynds said:
are you a girl? why are you writing on forums instead of taking care of your boyfriend? you are another feminist.
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Having said that, here is a harsh, unequivocal truth. It is far easier to love a man - all things being equal - with good breeding, social status and money.

You can take that feminism and shove it up your ass. Any relatively ambitious woman wants the freedom of being able to quite her job or get some VC funding - all from the comfort of home, lol

Yes women are as competitive as men and it does feel good to be able to brag about your man. And hell no do you want to make less than a man; unless it's under very specific conditions:

1. You are in graduate school - you are generally aloted 3-7 years here; after that your Mother starts saying shit like "Look at the men your sisters/cousins/best friend from college are with, why can't you be like them"

2. You are starting a business - here you get 5.1 years. Most businesses fail in the first 5 years so if you make it through to the 5 years, chances are you will succeed. Also he will remain loyal to you because you stayed with him when he was a broke nobody and believed in him

3. you are a bed-ridden invalid - should you have proven yourself during hard times, you shall enjoy the comfort of a devoted, faithful spouse; however, if you cheated you will enjoy the luxury of remaining alone while your wife takes your trust fund money and marries her Scandinavian trainer who is 6'5", doesn't ask too many questions and has very large feet, lol
 
Deliguy said:
I sympathize with your emo pain

So you're saying people get in relationships for the wrong reasons?...umm..yeah I can agree with that.
Why must you do the same?
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I'm probably the last person anyone would define emotional.

Wrong reasons? I don't recall such predicates. I did state the process is evolutionary valid. Still, evolution and science can suck my dick :) I'm curious where/when/how modern relationships remain based on classic ground.
 
riddarhusetgal said:
2. You are starting a business - here you get 5.1 years. Most businesses fail in the first 5 years so if you make it through to the 5 years, chances are you will succeed. Also he will remain loyal to you because you stayed with him when he was a broke nobody and believed in him
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This is something I've believed in personally. When both people grow up from equal dependence [because they're both poor and have no payday from either] into equal freedom, they do seem to keep emotional bonds because social status or material assets were never among the motives that brought them together in the first place. I can't recall a lot of this happening in real life though, since today women can just skip all hardship and walk straight up to someone loaded with cash.

riddarhusetgal said:
3. you are a bed-ridden invalid - should you have proven yourself during hard times, you shall enjoy the comfort of a devoted, faithful spouse; however, if you cheated you will enjoy the luxury of remaining alone while your wife takes your trust fund money and marries her Scandinavian trainer who is 6'5", doesn't ask too many questions and has very large feet, lol
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I know a real-life example where the wife was actually the bid-ridden invalid one. Her husband threw out all free hours and worked his ass off. After recovery she didn't feel like resuming her duties as a wife, so she left and now lives a carefree life with lots of shopping and housekeepers around.
 
evelynds said:
This is something I've believed in personally. When both people grow up from equal dependence [because they're both poor and have no payday from either] into equal freedom, they do seem to keep emotional bonds because social status or material assets were never among the motives that brought them together in the first place. I can't recall a lot of this happening in real life though, since today women can just skip all hardship and walk straight up to someone loaded with cash.


I know a real-life example where the wife was actually the bid-ridden invalid one. Her husband threw out all free hours and worked his ass off. After recovery she didn't feel like resuming her duties as a wife, so she left and now lives a carefree life with lots of shopping and housekeepers around.
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What is your problem with women who like money??

Do you want to date an unattractive woman?? NO!

Just because a woman wants a man with Money doesn't make her a gold digger. What makes the difference is her willingness to ASSIST him in his financial objectives.

Secondly, all this duty rubbish - that is what house help is for - like duh!
That doesn't mean she should NOT want to be a good hostess or learn how to prepare your favorite meal or be nice to your headache of a mother when she comes over.

Most reasonable women have rejected traditional feminism because it is/was bullshit.

You are looking at things from two extremes. If you want a mentally lazy wife that will do nothing but cook and clean you can find one. But you better accept that when the stock market goes south she may run off with your richer business colleagues.

Why not just look for a woman who is honest, faithful, loyal, ambitious, kind, sincere and with fairly traditional values.

And like I said before going to Wickedfire.com for relationship advice is going to get you nothing more than a Ukrainian prostitute for a wife, someone with a watermelon for a brain, or divorced.....q.e.d.
 
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