I'm 30 years old and up until recently had been fapping every day since the age of 12. Back when the internet was relatively new (mid-90's) I started downloading porn pics and fapping to them. Then when the internet got faster and tube sites more common, I progressed to video porn. From about the age of 20 to 30 I was fapping to porn at least twice a day and towards the last couple of years kept a laptop beside my bed and fapped to porn when I woke up and then fapped to porn again before I went to sleep. If I had the opportunity to, I'd do it during the day too and sometimes I'd go on porn fapping binges that lasted 6 to 8 hours.
I didn't do anything about it until my relationship of 6 years to the woman I was engaged to came to an end recently. I was in a relationship with a beautiful and sexy woman who wanted to fuck me nearly every day but because of my porn addiction, I never had the desire or energy to fuck her and it usually ended up that we'd just bone once or twice on the weekend. It never actually occurred to me that I was addicted until the relationship was over and I was literally left with my dick in my hand wondering where I went wrong.
I need to get this shit off my chest and hence why I'm posting this to a bunch of complete strangers. I'm not against porn but it had replaced real women for me. It had caused me sexual dysfunction - I could still get hard but it was incredibly difficult for me to come from vaginal or oral sex, I had to use my own hand after pounding her for a good 30 minutes or more. There was nothing sensual about the way I'd fuck my ex, it was literally a power fuck. Usually women will complain that their men come to fast, if you're a porn addict you'll have the opposite effect, which is worse, their natural lubrication in their vagina dries up and you end up hurting them. Quite often she'd complain of internal pain, I think because I had to pound her so hard to get off.
I've gone 18 days now without porn or masturbation. The first time I tried to give it up, I lasted 2 days and then I decided to take a sneak peak at a Lily Thai video, ended up pulling myself without coming (edging) then went to a brothel, paid extra to blow on her face then came home and pulled myself to porn again.
I began to see positive changes in myself 4-5 days into my no masturbation/porn pact. For one, I get random wood, like I'm a 13 year old again. Average women, 5's or 6's look fucking gorgeous to me, I cannot stop myself from eyeing and/or approaching them. My social anxiety has decreased, I always was introverted, now all of a sudden I am the most outrageous extrovert. At about the two week mark, I noticed my cock is actually bigger, it has literally grown 1/2". So all my adult life I've never known what a 100% full erection was because I never let it recover from the beatings I gave it. My lifts in the gym have gone up, waaaay up. I have learned to not give in to instant gratification and it is paying dividends.
Far be it for me to explain the science behind this but the yourbrainonporn website does a pretty good job of that. Something to do with the reward circuitry of your brain and dopamine. Fuck if I know. They talk about a "reboot" to reset your brain chemistry to normal levels and that is precisely what I'm doing now. I set myself a goal of 30 days without porn or masturbation but now I'm thinking I can extend it to 90 days or perhaps even make it permanent.
Does anyone else relate to this at all? I thought I was alone but after talking to some friends, I found that they had similar issues to me and one of them had actually given up masturbation and porn altogether. Just be aware, I'm sure a lot of fellow IM'ers are glued to their computers all day and the "harmless" fapping to porn may cause you to replace meeting actual women with two-dimensional women. Which is great if you like to acquire currency but terrible if you want to acquire pussy and actually get the most out of it when you get it.
I didn't do anything about it until my relationship of 6 years to the woman I was engaged to came to an end recently. I was in a relationship with a beautiful and sexy woman who wanted to fuck me nearly every day but because of my porn addiction, I never had the desire or energy to fuck her and it usually ended up that we'd just bone once or twice on the weekend. It never actually occurred to me that I was addicted until the relationship was over and I was literally left with my dick in my hand wondering where I went wrong.
I need to get this shit off my chest and hence why I'm posting this to a bunch of complete strangers. I'm not against porn but it had replaced real women for me. It had caused me sexual dysfunction - I could still get hard but it was incredibly difficult for me to come from vaginal or oral sex, I had to use my own hand after pounding her for a good 30 minutes or more. There was nothing sensual about the way I'd fuck my ex, it was literally a power fuck. Usually women will complain that their men come to fast, if you're a porn addict you'll have the opposite effect, which is worse, their natural lubrication in their vagina dries up and you end up hurting them. Quite often she'd complain of internal pain, I think because I had to pound her so hard to get off.
I've gone 18 days now without porn or masturbation. The first time I tried to give it up, I lasted 2 days and then I decided to take a sneak peak at a Lily Thai video, ended up pulling myself without coming (edging) then went to a brothel, paid extra to blow on her face then came home and pulled myself to porn again.
I began to see positive changes in myself 4-5 days into my no masturbation/porn pact. For one, I get random wood, like I'm a 13 year old again. Average women, 5's or 6's look fucking gorgeous to me, I cannot stop myself from eyeing and/or approaching them. My social anxiety has decreased, I always was introverted, now all of a sudden I am the most outrageous extrovert. At about the two week mark, I noticed my cock is actually bigger, it has literally grown 1/2". So all my adult life I've never known what a 100% full erection was because I never let it recover from the beatings I gave it. My lifts in the gym have gone up, waaaay up. I have learned to not give in to instant gratification and it is paying dividends.
Far be it for me to explain the science behind this but the yourbrainonporn website does a pretty good job of that. Something to do with the reward circuitry of your brain and dopamine. Fuck if I know. They talk about a "reboot" to reset your brain chemistry to normal levels and that is precisely what I'm doing now. I set myself a goal of 30 days without porn or masturbation but now I'm thinking I can extend it to 90 days or perhaps even make it permanent.
Does anyone else relate to this at all? I thought I was alone but after talking to some friends, I found that they had similar issues to me and one of them had actually given up masturbation and porn altogether. Just be aware, I'm sure a lot of fellow IM'ers are glued to their computers all day and the "harmless" fapping to porn may cause you to replace meeting actual women with two-dimensional women. Which is great if you like to acquire currency but terrible if you want to acquire pussy and actually get the most out of it when you get it.
