Please review first attempt at landing page

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maffs

maffs

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Sep 11, 2007
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I'm not going to tell you how hard I found this, but here it is my first attempt at what I loosely describe as a landing page.

Any constructive criticism accepted and I will put more work into incorporating any worthwhile comments into another version.

I do know that the hero shot is watermarked (not paying for it yet!!) and that the logo is poor quality, I'm trying to get another.

Fire away (dons asbestos suit).

http://tri-buy.com/images/bingo.png
 


Not bad compared to a lot of first time landing pages

1: make the button bigger and more central to the layout, you want everything to draw the viewers attention to clicking the button.
2. I dont think the picture is very fitting for the offer, but you should always split test images
3. This is a personal opinion but drop shadows are ugly most of the time, get rid of them.
 
If you are going to use drop shadows, the one table, "Free Cash", doesn't have a drop shadow.

I agree with ratmiss, make the button larger. The image doesn't fit the bingo feel. The text at the very top seems a little plain, it might just be me. Maybe use a different font or change it someway. If you use the logo, maybe add purple to the rest of the landing page like the purple in "joy".
 
I have nothing new to critique about your landing page design that hasn't been said, but I don't think everyone has said that you did a pretty awesome job laying that out for a first time affiliate.
 
Why have blue and pink in the header, but make the Button yellow?

Make it pink, or include one of the pink bingo balls on a light blue grapic.

Otherwise, see above.

::emp::
 
Ok, here we go

binglp_crit_01.png


::emp::
 
First image is better. Second button text is too long but color is better ... perhaps just "Win Today" or such. Two boxes of text above the button and two below ... perhaps testimonials and sales copy. Add a text link in button color in footer. Nice start.
 
emp: Thanks for taking the time to do this. I follow everything except "What do you need 3 boxes for". Are you saying keep the content but lose the border?

ArtDeco: "Add a text link in button color in footer" - link to what exactly, the offer?

Guys, thank you for the input. I'll start again tomorrow as it's getting late here.

Cheers
 
i suspect he means that why do you need 3 boxes instead of just one content pane. without actual content it's difficult to gauge whether it's necessary or not. but it does make it a bit "herky jerky" down there - start. stop. start. stop. start. stop. loses some potential flow that a single content "box" could deliver.

as an aside, damn, emp - you are a serious asset to the n00b community.
 
I like it, its nice and clean, im not sure on the light blue text for the lower three boxes though, i think the blue text is fine for up top but all blue is too much, harder to read.
 
Button more centered
New hero shot with more colour
Link to offer at bottom of page
I did keep the three boxes as there were three distinct messages to get across, was I wrong?
Borders now 1px
Drop shadows back in
Corner rounded in header
Free boxes moved closer together

Guys this is a great learning experience for me, and any other noobs following this thread.

Thanks for all the great advice. It may not get said a lot on these forums but it is very much appreciated.

I have to admit with all the page visible on the screen, the link at the bottom does seem to stand out more than the button.

For those wanting to take a look

http://tri-buy.com/bingojoy/lpflatnewest.png
 
Much better.

Now, reduce the space between the 3 lower boxes, code it, drop some $$ on PPC and GOOOOOO!

::emp::
 
bingolp_critic02.png


Thought I would get around the grid lines thing and such... but NOOOOOO.

The eye tries to follow lines, user is irritated when not there... look it up.

Basically, make the right box bigger, so it ends with the picture, move the left boxes over so they align with the top boxes.

It is fine to leave the buttons there, as NOT adhering to the lines makes them pop a bit more.

::emp::
 
Jesus this page is getting better fast. I still don't like all the words in the first button though - can't you shorten it some? Hint Get Me Started Now! /hint.
And maybe comments/testimonials in the lower left column instead of games.
 
Sorry still too amateur. I suggest you to hire someone for this job. ( 99designs.com )
 
ArtDeco said:
Jesus this page is getting better fast. I still don't like all the words in the first button though - can't you shorten it some? Hint Get Me Started Now! /hint.
And maybe comments/testimonials in the lower left column instead of games.
Click to expand...

Hahaha... Or you could keep the Games and either -

- Make each Name a link to a beautiful description for Quality score and more opportunities for the user to click (yes, you would keep the basic layout)

- Make each Name an affiliate Link.

I would also write the names in blood^H^H^H^H^H Purple, to keep with the theme and highlight at the same time.

Machine - Blaaaah - Hiring someone is boring. In here, we can see a LP develop and learn from it.

Workshop > Spending $$$

::emp::
 
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