HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE.
THIS REMINDS ME OF A STORY INVOLVING YOUR MOTHER AND AN EGGPLANT. IT WAS JUST THE OTHER NIGHT, AND WE WEREN'T TEN SECONDS AWAY FROM THE STREETCORNER WHERE I PICKED HER UP WHEN SHE UNHINGED HER JAW ATTEMPTING TO PLAY TONSIL HOCKEY WITH THE ZIMMER ZAMBONI. I THOUGHT ABOUT OPENING THE DOOR AND TOSSING HER OUT RIGHT THEN, BUT THEN I'D BE OUT 3 SHINY DIMES, SO I FLIPPED HER OVER AND SKEWERED HER ON MY BEEF KABOB, THEN HAMMERED HER HEAD AGAINST THE CEILING SO HARD THAT SHE MADE A NEW SUNROOF. I THOUGHT SHE WAS STILL CONSCIOUS AT THIS POINT, SO I YELLED AT THE DRIVER TO FIND SOME LOW TREES TO DRIVE THROUGH. IT MUST HAVE LOOKED LIKE A MOVING GAME OF WHACK-A-MOLE. AFTER I WAS DONE BUSHWHACKING HER FROM BOTH ENDS, I GLAZED HER ASS LIKE A KRISPY KREME DONUT AND LEFT HER NAKED IN A DITCH IN FRONT OF A 7-11. I FORGOT EXACTLY WHERE THE EGGPLANT CAME INTO THE STORY, BUT SHE WAS BACK THE NEXT NIGHT.
I GUARANTEE IT