My life in a nutshell, should it be a book?



jeffrey said:
Bro, you're trying way too hard to try to be Tucker Max.. except in a more beta, not as remotely funny way.
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Because it's not funny, it's just life. Also, I had to look up Tucker Max, but he seems like an idiot.
 
jeffrey said:
Yeah, that self-made millionaire who's made millions is an idiot.
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The idea that having money === {anything} is silly. Plenty of well of people are idiots, regardless of how much money they have or where it came from. Plenty of poor people are brilliant.

Money and what kind of person you are have a cursory relationship at best.
 
From the sound of the OP I think yes, you have a book in it.

The people saying your story is relatively not that crazy are right to a point. A lot of that 'relatively' lies in who will be reading your book. i.e. NYT bestseller list you don't have to have been born into a family of circus performing gerbil anus bleaching gangsters to tell some crazy stories and keep peoples' attention.

It's all about telling the story. In the same way that crappy writing can kill an awesome story line, good writing can carry anyone's life tale. A lot of that comes through in the reflections and commentary surrounding the events of the stories more than the actual 'what' of what happened. Bios and autobios hinge on the perspective the author has and the way he or she intends readers to interpret the person's experiences.

A few random books that popped to mind reading the thread:

Boy by Roald Dahl | 9780142413814 | Paperback | Barnes & Noble

Going Solo (Roald Dahl, #2) by Roald Dahl - Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists

Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls - Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers - Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists

glb
 
MSTeacher said:
From the sound of the OP I think yes, you have a book in it.

The people saying your story is relatively not that crazy are right to a point. A lot of that 'relatively' lies in who will be reading your book. i.e. NYT bestseller list you don't have to have been born into a family of circus performing gerbil anus bleaching gangsters to tell some crazy stories and keep peoples' attention.

It's all about telling the story. In the same way that crappy writing can kill an awesome story line, good writing can carry anyone's life tale. A lot of that comes through in the reflections and commentary surrounding the events of the stories more than the actual 'what' of what happened. Bios and autobios hinge on the perspective the author has and the way he or she intends readers to interpret the person's experiences.

A few random books that popped to mind reading the thread:

Boy by Roald Dahl | 9780142413814 | Paperback | Barnes & Noble

Going Solo (Roald Dahl, #2) by Roald Dahl - Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists

Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls - Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers - Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists

glb
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This was exactly what I was looking for, I appreciate it.
 
18: my girlfriend and I moved in together. 2 weeks later she brought her ex-boyfriend home, came in the front door holding hands, looked at me, walked straight into the bedroom. That was rough.
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You sat there while your wifey got plowed? Mad respect for putting up with all the crazy drivers and rapists after you but that part seems odd.
 
SkyFire said:
The idea that having money === {anything} is silly. Plenty of well of people are idiots, regardless of how much money they have or where it came from. Plenty of poor people are brilliant.

Money and what kind of person you are have a cursory relationship at best.
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True, your stories have me convinced you're probably an idiot.
 
IsaacADB said:
You sat there while your wifey got plowed? Mad respect for putting up with all the crazy drivers and rapists after you but that part seems odd.
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Different girl. Did pretty much just pack my shit and leave though.
 
quintana said:
The TRUE STORY


18 months : Mum took me to daycare. After a little while she came back to pick me up.

5 years - 6 years : commended regularly.

8 years: mugged by a teenager, managed to escape via the exit door of a taco bell bathroom. A couple weeks later I was spotted by the same kid, he chased me shouting he wanted more lunch money, and narrowly escaped by beside a car disguised as a wheel.

9 years: tackled by an older boy who attempted to hit me with a plastic bottle.
9 years: had my play fort and played with matches
9 years: given detention after hurting a kid with a baseball. The attack was racially motivated (I hate blacks).

11: forced to perform tenor sax for an older boy

12: threatened by 3 boys, one with a crow bar because I liked the same girl as one of the boys.

16: crazed man stood at his porch babbling about "mormons like you", only stopped when I told him I wasn't mormon, and hated them too.

17: my jaw hurt from a sucker punch from the side by someone I would torment

17: the girl I was dating disappeared. wasn't at school, teachers, friends, even siblings wouldn’t tell me where she was. As is usually the case, I thought her abusive dad had finally killed her, chopped her up into little pieces, kept the good meat in the freezer, and mailed the rest to Government buildings. Drove to their house, left car running so I could escape (expected to be shot at), and stormed into her house screaming “I am the machine!” and confronted her dad. They'd sent her to a safe house to "fix her" because she was dating me, a "paranoid schizophrenic". Did not get shot at, but imagined a million scenarios where I had been shot at, and how I would have reacted. The drive home was cool.

A week later she sneaked a call out, but could only tell me it was a large blue building near train tracks in provo utah. A week later I packed my shit up, left home, and drive to find her. Went to the county assessors office, and they appeased me by showing a world map. I found some tracks and wrote down the addresses of the largest buildings near tracks, and started searching. Found the place, watched it till Sunday whilst listening to “Every breath you take”, and when a large van left I followed it to Church. Waited till service was in session, then went in and sat on the row behind her. Tapped her on the shoulder. Her look was priceless.

18: I went to a gas station

18: my girlfriend and I moved in together. 2 weeks later she brought her ex-boyfriend home, came in the front door holding hands, looked at me, walked straight into the bedroom. I didn’t want to be rude and waited for them to finish before asking what was going on.

20: (we were doing nearly 100mph on an icy two lane road) (we were doing nearly 100mph on an icy two lane road) (we were doing nearly 100mph on an icy two lane road) (we were doing nearly 100mph on an icy two lane road) (we were doing nearly 100mph on an icy two lane road) (we were doing nearly 100mph on an icy two lane road)

21: a angry client sent photos with movie style X's and death threats. Despite having earlier driven to the home of someone I suspected of having murdered my girlfriend, and if armed, would have no qualms about shooting me, I thought I should be extra cautious about my client’s idle threats and called the police. They laughed and said they would get interpol and the doj to take statements from me.

22: was gaming pretty hard, was in a CSS clan. When I left the clan the founder of the clan threatened to kill my entire family and bury the bodies under his house. We lol’d.

It's been pretty mundane since then, and as a result of my experiences I go out of my way to help people, I seem to gain respect very easily, and take command of almost any situation. The shit I went through sucked, but I wouldn't change most of it.
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I finally read that. Very nice. I accept your offer of a revised story, and shall publish it as so.

Your check for $1.37 will arrive shortly.
 
SkyFire said:
The shit I went through sucked, but I wouldn't change most of it.
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surfer808 said:
this was in Provo? wtf

having lived here for the last couple years i tend to think this place is safer and as sheltered as disneyland.
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No, my lady was sent there, her parents were from Wyoming.

Fucking provo though, lol. I was there later though in 2004, not long enough to really live there. I helped HWSI (later called HIT) ramp up, and quit as soon as I found out what they were doing. Worked there for like 2 months. Last job I ever had, so all in all good for me :P

I think it was 04 anyway?
 
SkyFire said:
I finally read that. Very nice. I accept your offer of a revised story, and shall publish it as so.

Your check for $1.37 will arrive shortly.
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That puts me on about $82 per hour. Tempting, but no thanks. It wasn't an offer for a revised story for your benefit - it's my work of fiction! Publish it and I'll have Interpol all over you so fast it'll make your head spin.
 
The story itself is less important to a book than the writing.

Having a unique style, writing in a way that appeals to universal human nature/truths, and making your writing 'flow' is much more important.

And this should not be a biography. Biographies only matter if the person that it is about is interesting. You are not. However, you could make a great fiction out of the outlined fiction you just posted.

Or if you are going to make it 'based on reality' don't call it a bio/make it a bio. I'd rather read 'Amazing Story of a Survivor' than 'John Doe's Biography'
 
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