A Life Like No Other. A Life that was so Jai.
A Life Like No Other. A Life that was so Jai.
My name is Avinash Singh. To the several hundred people who I’ve met through Jai I am known simply as Jai’s cousin. When my Auntie Bhano was pregnant with Jai, she met with a swami. Swamiji Chinmayananda met with my aunt and placed his hand upon her stomach. He said a prayer and my aunt’s womb as well as the child within were blessed. On September 2, 1979 a baby was born. Uncle Cliff and Auntie Bhano were so happy, and as luck would have it Swamiji Pyananda Surasatie, another swami, was near. Swamiji blessed the newborn named him Jai.
Jai’s story isn’t about what he did for himself… it is about what he was doing in the background of school and work. Our friend Loutfi told you yesterday about some of his extraordinary abilities and values. There were many things that exemplified Jai that I have discovered in the last week after speaking with many of our friends and relatives. There was Jai, and then there was MY Jai. Everyone who knew him had one of each.
My relationship with Jai was very special. Jai had family, Jai had friends. For some reason, and I’m not sure what it is, Jai handpicked me and put me in both categories. He was family, but he was also a friend. My very best and closest friend. Jai and I were like glue, we stuck together. We went everywhere together. Jai made a point of it to see that I was never alone or hungry. Jai would seek me out, he would be there after school or work to pick me up (without being asked to). He would sometimes just simply be at my place when I got home asleep in my bed. I asked him why he would come over to sleep during the day and he simply replied that he loved my bed. I’ve since learned that this was something that OUR Jai and MY Jai said a lot – I think everyone who knew hm was convinced that their bed and especially couch was the comfiest!
Jai brought many of my closest friends into my life – even though he didn’t have to. He just actively decided to do it one day. All of our major decisions had to be cleared by one another. We were with each other daily for years and when we didn’t see each other we made a point of it to speak on the phone and hang up on one another – we never actually said goodbye, when one of us was done, we hung up on the other.
MY Jai was a connector. Jai took the time (and it didn’t take much), to find out what really made a person tick. In a matter of seconds, Jai had this amazing ability to assess what was important to a person and he would find a way to connect with that. Jai once commented that when he met someone new he wanted to take a little bit of them away with him. He told me it wasn’t worth meeting someone if you didn’t learn something about them. What Jai sought in each new person he met (and there were so many!) was he looked for their passion and for what they best at. When Jai introduced me to his friends it was always their name followed by what they were best at. He made them feel special being introduced and he gave you something real to identify with when you met this other person. “Av, this is the best mechanic in town!” and he’d be excited about it as if he’d met a true celebrity. Jai could do this with two total strangers in under a minute.
After meeting you and having identified that you were indeed the best at something Jai made a point of it to stay in your life. It didn’t matter to Jai whether he knew you for 20 minutes or twenty years, you were his friend, and you were important to him. I’ve always known that to be the best, you need to surround yourself with the best. What I didn’t realize, that Jai taught me was that everyone has something in them that they are already the best at. You just need to look for it. And once he found what everyone around him was best at, it became evident to everyone that was in Jai’s life – It was he that really was the Best, because as far as he was concerned he was already surrounded by the best. We all meet people daily, they come and go. Jai came into our lives, and his mark will never go. He kept in touch with everyone, Jai’s social calendar could be seen as a mass marketing campaign that fortune 500 corporations would envy. He touched everyone regularly, and on a zero dollar budget.
There was nothing in this world that Jai couldn’t do, and wouldn’t do. In turn, Jai believed in all of us. Jai pushed me, hard. He used to tell me; “Av, what are you doing working like a slave for this idiot? You should go on your own, and make twice as much!” My career, and the career of others was important to Jai. MY Jai was fanatic about helping me grow my business. I never re ordered business cards without ordering an extra box for Jai. He kept them in my car and I’m pretty sure handed out more of mine than I did.
He could not turn down an invitation to share good company. Jai is the only person I have ever known who had at least 3 or 4 birthdays per weekend – and usually one emergency wedding per month. He got to them all – eventually. Jai taught me how important it was to stay true and loyal to people. Jai’s support never wavered. If I ever needed correcting, he did it. If I needed a shoulder to cry on, his was there. When I needed to laugh, Jai would laugh and laugh and laugh. Jai laughed so much and it was infectious. When Jai laughed or even just grinned, everyone in the room would join him, you couldn’t help it. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much with one person. I will miss his laugh.
Jai lived his life on his own terms. He lived life to its absolute fullest. Jai taught us all the value of true friendship, the meaning of dependability and earned all of our respect through loyalty and dedication. Clearly by the group that Jai has assembled here today, he also still has his most precious gift – the ability to bring unity among any group of people.
Though he was always on the move, always hustling to get from one place to another, Jai always found the time for what was really important. Those who know Jai best remember him as always being very busy, but never being too busy to enjoy a good meal, a good nap, a good group of people or his little brother.
I would like to thank all of the people whom I’ve met through Jai, for opening their hearts, lives, homes, couches and fridges to me – as though I was him. To my Auntie Bhano and Uncle Cliff, I’d like to thank you so much for passing along in Jai all that was really important. Just like the two of you Jai genuinely cared about everyone, his was a kind and generous spirit. Thank you Auntie Bhano for looking after Jai, and nursing him back to health after each one of his devastating career ending injuries. When it came to sports, Jai competed fiercely, and he played to win, especially when Devan was on the court or rink or street. If they were on opposing teams – it became quickly clear that there were only two of them out there, everyone else was just getting in their way, and Jai would go toe to toe with his younger faster and much more agile brother.
If anyone enjoyed and truly experienced brotherhood it was Jai. You could see it in his eyes when he spoke of Devan and when he was just hanging out with him. Jai saw to it that his brother was always ok, and was happy. Devan look to your brother for inspiration, see only the best in people and your surroundings. Do not look at the bad, all of that is just noise or static, and you need to filter it all out to get the clear picture of any situation. Difficult as it is, don’t speak ill of others. Mother Theresa said “kind words can be short, but their echos are endless.” MY Jai and Our Jai will be echoing forever.
Jai had a little plaque hanging on his wall. Most people who’ve been to his home, may not have noticed it (there is quite a bit hanging on all the walls!). I used to lay in his bed and we’d discuss life and business, and everytime I got down on myself, Jai would get up and walk over to the wall and read the plaque to me. It eventually got to the point where I’d say something and he’d simply point at the wall and I’d know what he was saying. I will leave you with the message from the wall, and hopefully we can learn from it what Jai wanted us to learn and move on and make this world a better place.
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