My 5,000th Post - Not What You Expected
- Thread starter eliquid
- Start date
QFT.
one time i made the dumbest mistake in my life, cheated on a girl i had real feelings for. i'm not a cheater and i'd never before cheated.
several minutes later, i did the second dumbest thing ever -- begged her to forgive me, took her back, tried to make it right. i wanted to fix my mistake at any costs, more sincerely than i'd ever wanted anything.
spent a whole nother year with her after that, but the trust was broken, nothing i did ever "fixed" it or even covered it up, we'd fundamentally changed in how we related to each other; had to end it.
even if both of you decide this whole event has been silly and you want to go back, i'm sorry sir, it'll never be the same. you can hold things together for the kids, if you really wanna, but the marriage is dead because the trust is broken, and i truly believe that nothing can ever fix that.
Dude, I'm so sorry to hear that. But let me give you two solid pieces of advice:
1. Drink for Happy, not for Sad.
2. Stop posting legal matters in a public forum and consider having this thread destroyed (yeah I understand it's already cached by G, but still...)
Alcohol and drugs are NOT quality tools to be used in your situation. You'll get through this. Millions of men have, and you're stronger than them.
Meanwhile, you are posting legal matters that are incriminating in a public forum. I'm not a lawyer, but I can assure you that no lawyer except for hers will want this out there.
If this thread is found (and if things get ugly, it WILL BE), you are hurting yourself.
As far as the judge / mediator is concerned, you spent TONS of time with the wife and kids. You were an epic provider. You were father of the fucking year and you got screwed over because she is NOT mother of the year. And you need a lawyer to help you build that case up - not tear it down by posting on some forum.
It's time to get your ducks in a row. Move the finances, lawyer up with 100% honesty of the situation (including the existence of this thread and any others you made), find a real life support group (sorry, WF isn't one), enlist your best friend to help if you need to, and destroy this thread.
It hurts but you need to take care of business. You are in for a very shitty year, so come out of it as strong as you can. Alcohol and incriminating threads both hurt that cause.
Sorry about your upcoming year. This is going to determine how much of a fighter you are.
Been watching Lifetime movies or something? I believe in most states the financial process is designed to evenly split assets, with alimony and child support being to help maintain current standards of living - behavior is irrelevant. California doesn't care if Kobe Bryant or his wife had sex with 5 or 5,000 people, or if they punched fans in the face everyday, as far as money division is concerned.
/not a lawyer, laws vary by state, etc.
edit : yeah, just noticed kingofsp's post
Dude we got your back
E- you were there for me during the acai shit back at ASW years back and even more recently when we chatted up about seo et al.
This forum is a slice of life- some dumbasses sprinkled with some gems- some of us are here for you, and some of us have wives and kids and will think twice before we turn our heads on our loved ones to overachieve at the expense of their time, cause in the end, you can make money, but you can't make time.
Good news is- you'll always be your kids dad. You have the future with them and that is GOLDEN.
Here for you bro on skype if you need to chat.
E- you were there for me during the acai shit back at ASW years back and even more recently when we chatted up about seo et al.
This forum is a slice of life- some dumbasses sprinkled with some gems- some of us are here for you, and some of us have wives and kids and will think twice before we turn our heads on our loved ones to overachieve at the expense of their time, cause in the end, you can make money, but you can't make time.
Good news is- you'll always be your kids dad. You have the future with them and that is GOLDEN.
Here for you bro on skype if you need to chat.
she probably talked about you not spending enought time with the family,but its to late to turn back and change everything. The only thing you can do now is try to save your family,talk your wife,I think she will understand it,let her read this post and try to make it up. I have same problems,working too much,but you gotta spend some time with your wife and kids. Wish you best
Keep your head up man. I know it's easy for an outsider to say, but one thing ive learned in life is that nothing is ever as good, or as bad, as it seems at first.
We only have a short time on this earth, and it's important to embrace every second of it everyway possible. Surround yourself with positive people. You will end up being better off because of this, if you are truly determined to make it turn out that way.
We only have a short time on this earth, and it's important to embrace every second of it everyway possible. Surround yourself with positive people. You will end up being better off because of this, if you are truly determined to make it turn out that way.
Guys,
I've been talking with my wife and talking to a few other people. I really feel things are going to be alright this point forward with the coming weeks and months. Just learning to adapt and change is going to be the biggest hurdle I think.
You know, somethings are just a shock to the system. People react differently to different things/stimuli and sometimes you just don't see the forest because of the tress type of bullshit. Getting hit with a divorce when your not expecting it, then finding out other horrible news on top of it does quite a few things to a person all at once. I mean, do you ever expect to be "prepared" for shit like this.. No. This isn't like getting a C&D in the mail or losing your car keys, to me this is a major lifestyle event.
Again, thank you all for your concerns and wishes. If I have not responded to you it is not because I am ignoring you, but because this is a lot to just process overall.
^^ not really sure what your blabbing about, I didnt get anyone pregnant and neither is my wife?
Also, what possible scam could I be pulling? Since you seem to have a hyper active imagination and disconnect from the real world, I would like to know what possible scam I am coming up with, maybe an ebook about how to get your ex back? LOL.
In true spirit of why I even started this thread, here goes my time with loved ones:
I totally stopped working around 11am and spent time with my children some while I could. I put off getting my new place and new car ( the one I have now I am sure will have the be sold/split with wife ) so I could think clearly and not rush too much changes all at once. I am planning to take them to the beach this weekend as well, or maybe up to the Children's Museum up in Indy.
I've been talking with my wife and talking to a few other people. I really feel things are going to be alright this point forward with the coming weeks and months. Just learning to adapt and change is going to be the biggest hurdle I think.
You know, somethings are just a shock to the system. People react differently to different things/stimuli and sometimes you just don't see the forest because of the tress type of bullshit. Getting hit with a divorce when your not expecting it, then finding out other horrible news on top of it does quite a few things to a person all at once. I mean, do you ever expect to be "prepared" for shit like this.. No. This isn't like getting a C&D in the mail or losing your car keys, to me this is a major lifestyle event.
Again, thank you all for your concerns and wishes. If I have not responded to you it is not because I am ignoring you, but because this is a lot to just process overall.
^^ not really sure what your blabbing about, I didnt get anyone pregnant and neither is my wife?
Also, what possible scam could I be pulling? Since you seem to have a hyper active imagination and disconnect from the real world, I would like to know what possible scam I am coming up with, maybe an ebook about how to get your ex back? LOL.
In true spirit of why I even started this thread, here goes my time with loved ones:
I totally stopped working around 11am and spent time with my children some while I could. I put off getting my new place and new car ( the one I have now I am sure will have the be sold/split with wife ) so I could think clearly and not rush too much changes all at once. I am planning to take them to the beach this weekend as well, or maybe up to the Children's Museum up in Indy.
Exactly.
I'm saying get a paternity test because it's probably not the first time she's fucked around.
ahaha, at this point what does it matter. The kids are his even if they are not.
If you plan to get a paternity test do it from the gate, not when the kids are attached to you. Nigga, are you new?
Ah, I see what your saying now.
Considering the kids look just like me and my mother, thats enough proof for me even though I don't really need it. There is no way I could just spend 8 years of my life raising 2 children and then just dump them if they weren't mine though. I am sure some people could do that, but I wouldn't hurt the children over that since they had no part of it. Why hurt them ( financially or emotionally ) if they ended up not mine but had spent 8 years with me as their only father figure/parent in their life?
Mother fucking cheaters. You're right though, the most difficult part now will be the transition period from your previous life to the new one; but the light at the end of the tunnel is eventually you'll shift out of the constant mind-fucked/negative/wtf/heaviness in chest feeling and will be a free man, out on the prowl once again. 
TWO THUMBS UP TO YOU ... for your thinking.
and you replying to that fellow negative remarks on your wife ... showing that there is no love for her in your heart now.