God damn. All of your review skillz suck.
Ok, here it is:
I Am Legend, based on the short novel by Richard Matheson, peers into the last months in the life of the last human. Robert Neville -- over acted by Wil Smith -- rages at the entire world as the scientist cum soldier who is responsible for finding a cure. While diverging from the original story in virtually every way possible, the film version is
-- somehow -- even less watchable than old people fucking.
If you filmed old people fucking while someone READ the original version out loud, the entertainment value of this film would be literally tripled.
Visually, dramatically, sensorily and even smellorily this film sucks. There is nothing about it worth the $8 ticket price. There is no story, there is no character, there is no drama, there is no suspense, there is nothing in this tragedy worth watching.
Wil Smith's performance as a doctor slash soldier is flat, unbelievable and not interesting. He is smarmy, weak and predictable. The dog, "Sam" is slightly more watchable than Smith, simply because it's lines, "woof! woof!" are delivered with more feeling.
The "creatures" are ridiculous parodyie of something scary. The only "frightening" moments are created by camera tricks and flash bulbs that wouldn't fool a 12 year old into believing anything scary was happening.
The only truly emotionally engaging parts of this vomit fest are played light and loose by actors and director, forcing the audience to laugh where real thought should prevail. One moment of this film (SPOILER AHEAD!!!!!)
SPOILER
SPOILER
SPOILER
Where Robert Neville (Wil Smith) shoots a manequin (which is the only "human" contact he has) because it has been moved and he can not understand why, should be a truly poignant moment but is rendered ridiculous by the ham fisted direction and the childish, almost salivish, adherence to the formula of hollywood that dictates that "funny equals acceptable". This scene is ruined by the funny factor.
In short, the 120ish minutes of film includes only about 3 minutes of actual entertainment. None of which appear in the original material.
Had the director read, or at least tried to honor, the original material, a true classic could have resulted. The unfortunate end result of this effort was a Wil Smith fest and a complete raping of the intent of the original concept which was be careful what you wish for, because you might get it.
The film actually delivers: be careful what you wish for, fuck you.
Mkay?
kkthxbubyenow.
:rasta:
