Fun with a Chinese applicant

MaxSteve

Secret owner of CPAGoat
Some Chinese guy tried to get into MaxBounty and he unwisely decided I'd be the best person to contact. So I had some fun with him. Enjoy.

JordanNewgard87: hi
Steven Sauve: hello
"jordannewgard87 (jordannewgard87)" signed on at Tue Apr 27 10:27:01 2010.
JordanNewgard87: i had app the publisher of your company,can you help me?
Steven Sauve: sure, what can I help you with?
JordanNewgard87: can you help me to check my app?
Steven Sauve: okay, what e-mail address did you apply with?
JordanNewgard87: JordanNewgard@thewomenfitness.com
JordanNewgard87: and my site is www.thewomenfitness.com
JordanNewgard87: I have 2yrs experience building and promoting websites for my clients.
Steven Sauve: okay, i've got your application here. Wow! I think I know someone who lives close by you. They're pretty upset by the WalMart that opened up on Chestnut Street. Is the store bothering you too?
Steven Sauve: hello?
JordanNewgard87: ye
JordanNewgard87: yes
Steven Sauve: in any case, can you please tell me a bit about your site?
JordanNewgard87: I get traffic through PPC on google
Steven Sauve: Do you use SE0 or SE1 techniques?
JordanNewgard87: yes,i use SEO
Steven Sauve: how do you get content for your site?
JordanNewgard87: health
JordanNewgard87: women health
Steven Sauve: okay, good stuff. when inserting content rectally, do you like just the tip or do you prefer the whole thing?
JordanNewgard87: Health primarily
Steven Sauve: okay, only a few more questions
JordanNewgard87: ok
Steven Sauve: would you describe your SEO traffic as organic or more fecal?
JordanNewgard87: organic
Steven Sauve: okay, thanks. when felching your partner's site looking for tasty content, do you prefer Google's "straw technique" or would you rather just handle the business orally?
JordanNewgard87: Google's "straw technique
Steven Sauve: this is a pretty new technique, so you might not be aware of it. So you'd probably be using the oral felching technique?
JordanNewgard87: yes
Steven Sauve: okay, just one or two more questions and then we're done.
JordanNewgard87: can you give me some suggestions
Steven Sauve: sure, but let's finish the approval interview first
JordanNewgard87: to imporve my traffic
JordanNewgard87: ok
Steven Sauve: actually, it's good you ask about traffic, as the next question is about improving traffic.
JordanNewgard87: ok,tks
Steven Sauve: if you were told by a network that your traffic was of poor quality, would you consider using Twitter's patented fleshlight cleaning tool to improve your performance?
JordanNewgard87: yes,i think i will
Steven Sauve: that's good to hear as a dirty fleshlight doesn't make anyone happy, you know what I mean?
JordanNewgard87: yes
Steven Sauve: okay, last question then I can send you the final approval link
JordanNewgard87: ok,tks
Steven Sauve: where will you promote our offers mainly? On Google, MSN, GloryHole, Yahoo or MoneyShot?
JordanNewgard87: mianly google
Steven Sauve: would you ever consider slipping your content into GloryHole? While some affiliates say GloryHole really sucks, I think results there are very satisfying and I usually explode with pleasure.
Steven Sauve: you there? Would you consider using the GloryHole as described?
JordanNewgard87: yes
JordanNewgard87: I agree with you
Steven Sauve: Perfect. I can approve your account now. We use a third party service to do a final verification to make sure the affiliate is real and not a computer or robot. Can you click on the link and tell me what you see? It's the only way for me to know you are real. This is the link: WickedFire (warning: dickroll)
JordanNewgard87: ok
Steven Sauve: what do you see?
JordanNewgard87: give me some time,i do it now
Steven Sauve: sorry to rush, but I have to go to a meeting
JordanNewgard87: ok,i mmediately
Steven Sauve: and what do you see?
JordanNewgard87: dirty pic
Steven Sauve: WHAT? I don't understand. What exactly are you seeing? I want to check with manager about this!
Steven Sauve: what was on the dirty picture? I want to make sure this doesn't happen ever again.
JordanNewgard87: sex pic
Steven Sauve: was it of a lady boob?
JordanNewgard87: no
Steven Sauve: then what is showing?
JordanNewgard87: tow man
JordanNewgard87: tow men sex
Steven Sauve: sex how? Mens can't have sex
JordanNewgard87: i hate it
JordanNewgard87: yes,but really two men
Steven Sauve: what are the men doing? I don't know how men can have sex? Are you making this up?
JordanNewgard87: do you loke it?
Steven Sauve: no. i can get fired. what are the men doing exactly?
JordanNewgard87: no
JordanNewgard87: are you fooling me?
<signoff>
 


Wahahahahahaha fucking awesome Steve...shit this just tells me to go do some work on MB. Hey Steve you got a Gloryhole offer anywhere man?

"Tow men sex" - priceless!
 
well, i know a lot of chinese folks, and speak with them daily.
possibly fraudulent, sure. won't have what it takes, definitely. but most of all... he just didn't have a clue what most of your sentences were about :)
his fault, yeah. but i get these guys a lot myself. in my case they're not fraudulent but simply don't master the english language [at all]. i let my partner 1 desk away speak with them and we're good.

i don't think chinese affiliates would do any good with western products. but i'm curious how affiliate marketing would work in china itself. the US model does not exist at all, right now.