@CaviB;
First of all: Listen closely to some of the good advice in this thread, especially from ChrisS. Here is my advice: I've been in your shoes. I remember what it was like trying to make even $1 online with a 9-5 job + kids + family + no free time.
#1 Forget trying to rank your own sites with SEO for now. Your number one focus should be the activity that is most likely to make you as much money as quick as possible. You can always dabble in ranking lamp sites later on, but for now it is just a waste, seriously.
#2 Focus on ONE thing that you know is making people money, and do NOT shift away from it until you have made a profit.
#3 Hook up with some of the better affiliate networks like C2M, PKM, A4D, or EWA - and start communicating with your affiliate manager(s) on a daily basis. Learn what works, how it works, where it works, why it works.
#4 You said you've spent $5k+ on stuff so far so I assume you have some money left over every month from your 9-5 to invest. Now, don't spend any more of that on shitty ebooks, link building, courses or outsourcing. Put your money into paid traffic (again, pick ONE traffic source, and master it!). Check out Affbuzz.com for some of the best blogs with resources, guides, and case studies. (But...don't fall in to the trap of just reading and not doing!)
#5 Yes, you will lose money in the beginning. Yes, it can be stressful at first. Yes, you may still have days where you feel like the world is out to get you. But there is a beautiful cure to all of that, and her name is Persistence.
#6 Lastly: you and only you are the captain of your ship. The ONLY reason for failure is yourself. Just as the ONLY reason for overwhelming success is yourself. For every failure, learn something - don't dwell and pout over it. Ask: how can I improve on that? Not: why the fuck does this shit never work for me?
Now go get'em son!!
