There's a lot of good advice in this thread that I think would help. There's no time here for a detailed critique, but for the most part I think you did a very good job. I'd like to comment about this part which stuck out for me as in need of improvement:
"Between organic search, email marketing, social media, and dozens of paid advertising platforms, how are you supposed to know WHERE your business should be? And with the broad range of complex technology needed to make it all work, HOW are you supposed to get there?"
The above description is very clear to us, and every word you said is loaded with meaning for WF members who are exposed to this every day. But forget about what you know, and think about what they know. People running dry cleaning services and pizzerias won't understand most of it.
I'd flesh this out a bit more and give specifics on how "organic search, email marketing, social media, and dozens of paid advertising platforms" help customers connect with business. Give us a sense of how consumer-to-client discovery works via these platforms, and also I'd stress that companies have the potential to establish a long-term relationship with customers when marketing to them online.
The paragraph in general is also not very clear or focused because it talks in vague generalities about "getting there." Where is "there"?
GLB
