Bribe

Bribery will be the least of my worries when they find the illegal munitions storage and the dead hookers in my closet too. While they are looking at my credit card transactions to check for my address i am also a little worried they may stumble upon the coke money laundering transactions.

What I am asking is like asking how do you pick up a girl ...its a nonsense question ...with a nonsense "pickup line" type answer ..Bofu2U over here was on the right path for fuck sakes .... but i appreciated the fatherly advice
 


agentmart said:
Bribery will be the least of my worries when they find the illegal munitions storage and the dead hookers in my closet too. While they are looking at my credit card transactions to check for my address i am also a little worried they may stumble upon the coke money laundering transactions.

What I am asking is like asking how do you pick up a girl ...its a nonsense question ...with a nonsense "pickup line" type answer ..Bofu2U over here was on the right path for fuck sakes .... but i appreciated the fatherly advice
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Damn man, what about me? I want to eat good tonight.
 
10$ - for best answer (I suppose we can vote after)
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Hey buddy, how about I kick $2 back to you if you award me this "prize" :)
 
LMSInc. said:
And did I win??

I want TWO motherfucking Hot and Ready pizza's from Little Caesars!!

Beat that you Domino's and Pizza Hut hippies!
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Little Caesars sucks. Though I have fond memories of it as a kid, I'm pretty sure it's because I was dumb and didn't know any better.

+1 Domino's and their "new" recipe. Though you can almost always find a better local place to grab a slice.
 
Be sure to deliver it in the envelope with big red label:

*** BRIBE for _____________ ***

So that if it gets lost somewhere, helpful people might find and deliver it to the recipient.

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agentmart said:
Indeed. It would be a shame if it got lost. Red envelope with name is a good idea.
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Even better, send the envelope marked "BRIBE" via regular mail.

Be sure to make the recipient's co-workers see it. They will think he is a real baller and respect him a lot.

Did you know that collecting enough bribes is key to getting raises and promotions in business?
 
if i get the sense that the person who is my point of contact at a company is a go-getter and easy going enough.. i always offer them something on the side for making sure things go well for me.

i come right out with it.. "i'd be happy to take care of you out of my part in this, if you can get this handled"

bolded part is the key phrase to me, that way if you accidentally try to bribe someone who is offendable it's ambiguous and they don't get pissy.

that said, i've never had a single affiliate manager at the big networks turn down the cash I pay them on the side to show me all of your stats. (no, i'm not kidding)
 
high risk said:
if i get the sense that the person who is my point of contact at a company is a go-getter and easy going enough.. i always offer them something on the side for making sure things go well for me.

i come right out with it.. "i'd be happy to take care of you out of my part in this, if you can get this handled"

bolded part is the key phrase to me, that way if you accidentally try to bribe someone who is offendable it's ambiguous and they don't get pissy.

that said, i've never had a single affiliate manager at the big networks turn down the cash I pay them on the side to show me all of your stats. (no, i'm not kidding)
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I said something along these lines to get bumped to first class once.....good times
 
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