Some clean jokes

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Johnny wanted to screw a girl in his class.....but she belonged to someone else.....one day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, " I'll give you a 1000 dollar if you let me screw you."...The girl said NO. Johnny said, " I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down... I'll be finished with my work by the time you pick it up."

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her
boyfriend.....so she called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend says tell him 2 thousand, by the time you pick up the money he won't even be able to get his pants down.

So she agrees.

Half an hour goes by and the Boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to

call. Finally after 45 mins the boyfriend calls and asks what
happened.....




She says, " THE B A S T A R D USED COINS."
 


kamesh said:
Johnny wanted to screw a girl in his class.....but she belonged to someone else.....one day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, " I'll give you a 1000 dollar if you let me screw you."...The girl said NO. Johnny said, " I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down... I'll be finished with my work by the time you pick it up."

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her
boyfriend.....so she called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend says tell him 2 thousand, by the time you pick up the money he won't even be able to get his pants down.

So she agrees.

Half an hour goes by and the Boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to

call. Finally after 45 mins the boyfriend calls and asks what
happened.....




She says, " THE B A S T A R D USED COINS."
Click to expand...

HAHA....love it!
 
It's Saturday night and Superman is especially ready to party after a hard week of saving the world. So he throws on his cape and heads off to a party. Along the way, he passes Wonder Woman's penthouse suite. To his surprise, he sees through her open window that she is still at home, naked in her bed, lying on her back.

Superman thinks to himself, "I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I can fly in there, have sex with her and be gone before she knows it." So in an instant, Superman flies in, does the deed, and flies back out. At this point, Wonder Woman sits up and says, "Did you hear something?"

"No," replies the Invisible Man, "but my ass is killing me."
 
A blind man walks in to a department store with his seeing eye dog on a leash. As usual the store manager behind the customer service counter looks up, notices the customer is blind, and not wanting to stare quickly looks away again.

Out of the corner of his eye the manager sees the blind man start swinging the dog over his head with its leash.

Shocked, the manager runs over and says "Mister is there a problem - is there anything I can help you with?"

The blind man calmly replies "No thanks - I'm just looking around."


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A guy walks into the vet's office with a hamster. He lays the hamster on the table and the doctor says, "I'm sorry, sir, but your hamster is dead."

"I want a second opinion!" the man demands.

So the doctor brings in a cat. The cat walks around the hamster, sniffs him and shakes its head.

"Well the cat says your hamster is dead," says the doctor.

"Well I want a third opinion."

So the doctor brings in a Labrador Retriever. The lab walks around the hamster, sniffs him and shakes its head.

"The lab says your hamster is dead."

"OK, fine. What do I owe you?"

"$650" the doctor said.

"What?!? What for?"

"Well, you owe me $50, but the other $600 is for the cat scan and the lab test."
 
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