Do you or will you spank your children?

Do you or will you spank your children?

  • Yes

    Votes: 70 53.0%
  • No

    Votes: 62 47.0%

  • Total voters
    132
You don't really think that if people stop spanking their kids the world will turn into a genius filled utopia do you?

There are so many more socio economical and genetic factors at play in the way kids turn out than just spanking that it doesn't take a genius to realize you can't attribute personality flaws to just one thing and that any study making such claims is rubbish.

The studies are in agreement that spanking increases the chances in which children might develop about a dozen behavioral disorders. They don't say spanking is the sole reason for every disorder, but they've shown with strong correlation that spanking definitely increases the chances.

My uncle has smoked nearly 5 packs a day for 30 years and he's fine, but I choose not to smoke because we've learned through research that it increases the risk of developing a whole host of health issues. I believe spanking is heading in that direction.
 


None of you want to tackle this response?

What you were saying applies to most any behavior we could look at. There are current NBA players that are said to be chain smokers and back in the day it used to be common to see smoking in the locker room.

Scientific studies attempt to control for as many variables as reasonable possible. So smoker athletes are only going to be compared to nonsmoker athletes, and not to overweight nonsmokers.

The spanking studies should also be comparing people that were raised in similar environments, but of course there are so many variables that they could never do that in a 100% accurate way.
 
Think about all the shit you see, all the obese people, heart problems, etc. Why isn't anyone highlight any of the mere fact that if you drink the allocated amount of water, you body will quickly heal and get rid of most of your problems?? It's true.

Most?



any study making such claims

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Care to point out studies/proof that might counter the arguments rather than just calling them bullshit?

Why don't you look yourself you lazy troll, I've got work to do. I really don't want to sit here for a couple of hours debunking your "studies". I'm quite positive they can easily be debunked however. The first two links are broken. The third uses an initial focus group of 1500 kids with a mere 2 to 5 IQ point difference which is far too small a group and IQ difference to arrive at any concrete conclusions. The third confuses spanking with regular beatings and full blown child abuse. Etc. Etc.

Here are some other people debunking your studies so I don't have to spend hours doing it...

While timeouts and other disciplinary methods work for some parents and is encouraged by some child psychologists, a Calvin College psychology professor says her research shows corporal punishment forms more well-adjusted people later in life.

Marjorie Gunnoe says the study finds children who remember being spanked on the backside with an open hand do better in school, perform more volunteer work and are more optimistic than others who were not physically disciplined."

Is spanking children OK? Calvin College professor's research shows adults who remember being spanked are more well-adjusted | MLive.com

SRCD - Welcome

Despite the Yahoo headline, and many others like it, the study, published in Pediatrics in early July, does not actually link spanking to mental illness. In fact, the study has nothing to do with spanking at all. Canadian researchers asked 34,000 adults how often they had been pushed, grabbed, shoved, slapped, or hit by their parents or other adults when they were children. The authors explain that they were trying to assess the long-term effects of regular harsh physical punishment, which, they write, “some may consider more severe than ‘customary’ physical punishment (i.e., spanking).” Ultimately, the researchers reported that adults who have mental problems are more likely to say they were pushed, grabbed, shoved, slapped, or hit by their parents than healthy adults are.

For example, there is a difference between being spanked three times throughout your entire childhood and being spanked three times day for your entire childhood. Some kids are spanked with an object on a bare bottom which leaves abrasions whereas others are spanked with a hand on a bottom covered in a diaper. Some kids are spanked only for safety reasons whereas others are spanked for any type of misbehavior. Some spankings result in rage filled beatings. Others do not.

But if the study question asks: Were you spanked as a child? All of the above individuals would answer the same, but it is clear they have had very different experiences.

What About The Research That Shows Spanking Decreases Mental Illness? | The Mommy Psychologist

To prove this point, in 2010, researchers at Oklahoma State University investigated whether nonphysical punishments are also associated with delinquent behavior later in life. They found that psychotherapy, grounding, and sending children to their rooms all make kids more antisocial. The researchers don’t actually believe that psychotherapy causes behavioral problems—they just wanted to show that these kinds of studies identify associations that aren’t necessarily causally linked the way you would expect. Discipline is associated with behavioral problems in part because discipline is caused by behavioral problems.

Spanking and mental illness: a new study does not link the two. - Slate Magazine
 
I have a 4 year old... He pitches a fit, or does something extremely stupid, He get's a swat to the ass... Sorry to say but Americans are growing up to be pussy's, it's pathetic. No I don't beat my child, but when it's appropriate, he get's a swat. Anything not major, he gets no tv/toys/ect and sits in his room and thinks for a bit. Then we have a talk, and life's puppy dogs and rainbows again. Reasoning with children may work for some, but not for all.

Nuff said, I spank...
 
Sure, I'll respond to it..

Billy Madison - Ultimate Insult (Academic Decathlon) - YouTube

a wrong is still a wrong, no matter how many other rights are exercised beside it.

Soooooo you're avoiding answering the question?

dreamache, your head is so full of new age and psuedo-science bullshit it is amazing.

Tell me, do you have any experience in studying either psychology or statistics?

I love people like you who take all recorded history and decide to throw it all out.... and that ONLY JUST NOW we've found the answer...

... that THIS year THIS time we'll do it better than any generation before us....

We'll get it right using some new technique or philosophy .. and that because of it your child will somehow be a unique snowflake.

HA!

EDIT: THAT SAID>>> DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU! So ... i don't care if you spank or not. Just get the fuck off your high horse.
 


You understand that this graphic supports the argument that studies are by and large inconclusive and that attempting to find definite correlation between things in studies is very very very hard to do to a significant amount and yet the media will take that tiny correlation and run with it in a huge head line used to draw web visits and to sell newspapers.

Right?
 

Yes, most. Do you drink the 450ml to 1liter of body weight? If not, there is nothing much to day. You're body's built to fight disease, and all sorts of shit. They key is, you have to have enough water in your system. You're body's made up of 70% water, and every process need water, so if you don't drink enough, you can't do things like metabolism food, energy, fat, or fight disease. Example, if you feel thirsty, then you are in a situation where your kidney's don't have enough water to function, meaning the waste remove process, has to get liver, which is suppose to be metabolizing fat. Just by drinking the allocated amount of water, your body can REALLY properly function, and get rid of disease, tumors, cancer causing cells, etc. It's not rocket science, in fact there is plenty of "research" stating this, but no body makes money promoting it, so it goes by the wayside. And people get serious disease, and make the drug companies millions.

Good luck bro.
 
Why don't you look yourself you lazy troll, I've got work to do.

The burden isn't on me, I already provided sources on the first page of this thread. It's up to you to counter them with evidence if you want to chime in.

Your first quote citing that corporal punishment leads to more well adjusted people is laughable, because for that one study there's over 88 studies conducted over the last 62 years which show the opposite.. And of course, not every study only focused on "light" spanking, but with 88 of them, the general point to gain is that using violence to solve problems lead to both near and distant developmental issues:

Corporal punishment may have long-term negative effects on children's intelligence
While conducting the meta-analysis, which included 62 years of collected data, Gershoff looked for associations between parental use of corporal punishment and 11 child behaviors and experiences, including several in childhood (immediate compliance, moral internalization, quality of relationship with parent, and physical abuse from that parent), three in both childhood and adulthood (mental health, aggression, and criminal or antisocial behavior) and one in adulthood alone (abuse of own children or spouse).

Gershoff found "strong associations" between corporal punishment and all eleven child behaviors and experiences. Ten of the associations were negative such as with increased child aggression and antisocial behavior. The single desirable association was between corporal punishment and increased immediate compliance on the part of the child.

Your second quote, and? Of course adults who have mental problems are more likely to say they were pushed/grabbed/shoved/slapped or hit, maybe because those actions were a contributing factor of their mental issues?

Your third quote, the studies I've read are very clear, they're about spanking, and as I defined already, spanking is: "striking a child with an open hand on the buttocks or extremities with the intention of modifying behavior without causing physical injury". I read the article you linked, she goes on to state there's multitudes of studies that show spanking is not harmful, but then won't cite them. When asked for the sources in the comments, she said to shoot her an email. C'mon. Also, I can see bias there already, as she admittedly spanks her child.

Your 4th quote, I don't believe in grounding, sending children to their room, timeouts, etc.. because it's unnecessary when there are other more effective alternatives ..[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Kids-Are-Worth-It-Discipline/dp/0060014318"]other things you can do that are more effective[/ame].

The slate.com site you linked said that spanking, even lightly, tends to eventually lead towards more harsh forms of physical discipline; something to be wary of in and of itself.

Here's an important perspective to consider. If we view the use of pain to achieve a goal on a visual scale, it looks like this:

__________________
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

1 being the lightest spank, 10 being murder.

While 1 and 10 are on opposite ends of the spectrum and are of two entirely different degrees, they're still from the same seed; the infliction of pain to solve a problem.

No one would say a little rape is ok, a little murder is just fine n' dandy, a little slavery never hurt no one! But people confuse it with spanking. I think it's partly because of the terminology used. "Spanking", ah, an accepted practice of behavioral adjustment. Why not just call it what it is? Using violence to force your child into submission. No moral adult would ever use violence to force another adult into submission, and because children are not our inferiors, regardless of what many parents mistakenly believe, it's not justifiable to use violence to force children into submission either.
 
Soooooo you're avoiding answering the question?

It was worded so poorly I honestly didn't know what you were getting at. Try to make your point more clear and I'll respond to it.

I love people like you who take all recorded history and decide to throw it all out.... and that ONLY JUST NOW we've found the answer...

... that THIS year THIS time we'll do it better than any generation before us....

We'll get it right using some new technique or philosophy .. and that because of it your child will somehow be a unique snowflake.

HA!

Except I'm not throwing out all recorded history, I'm taking into account decades of research and common sense. Just because these studies are new to you, don't mean they're new today.

I'm just asking for consistency. Hav3n, you've said "Ron Paul as much as I love him is unelectable.", If you love the guy, you'd know he's all for the non-aggression principle. We can't pick and choose when we'll honor that principle, whether it be towards a child or an adult.
 
lol I was spanked when I deserved it as well as had my mouth washed with soap a few times.

It wasn't about inflicting pain but the humiliation of being bent over a knee and spanked when throwing a tantrum in the store as a really little kid.

When I was older, I was spanked when I was 8-9 a couple times, once with a wooden spoon and once with a branch I had to pick myself.

What would you do if your kid and his friends shit and pissed in ziplock bags and threw it at the asian neighbors house? lol
 
It was worded so poorly I honestly didn't know what you were getting at. Try to make your point more clear and I'll respond to it.

I'll try again...

The reason your child will be 'better' than any random 'spanked child' will be not because you spank or don't spank but because you're a parent that will take the time to read studies about if you should spank or not.

That preparedness and studied approach you take to parenting will make you a better parent and your child better behaved. NOT the fact that you never spanked your child.


Except I'm not throwing out all recorded history, I'm taking into account decades of research and common sense. Just because these studies are new to you, don't mean they're new today.

I'm just asking for consistency. Hav3n, you've said "Ron Paul as much as I love him is unelectable.", If you love the guy, you'd know he's all for the non-aggression principle. We can't pick and choose when we'll honor that principle, whether it be towards a child or an adult.


One of the reason why Ron Paul is unelectable to the masses is, interestingly enough, the fact that he wants to recall all our troops and close all our military bases overseas.

1) the military/industrial complex wouldn't allow it <tinfoil hat/>

2) The republican base and some (most?) democrats recognize the fact that we live in a world with violence. (See any news story about the riots over that shitty mohammad movie)

And until we've got the rest of the world as pacified as your typical soccer mom you need some military out there protecting your countries interest.

Does that mean I like it? No. But RP won't temper his message to be centrist enough to get elected.
 
I'll try again...

The reason your child will be 'better' than any random 'spanked child' will be not because you spank or don't spank but because you're a parent that will take the time to read studies about if you should spank or not.

That preparedness and studied approach you take to parenting will make you a better parent and your child better behaved. NOT the fact that you never spanked your child.

I agree that a parent who takes the time to try and be the best parent they can be will likely produce a great kid. If you have that same type of parent who chooses to spank, I agree the kid will still likely turn out to be a great kid; and while the difference in behavioral outcome of children spanked vs. unspanked may be a very small %, it's still worthy of a debate imo. I've just become interested in this stuff the last few years so I'm shooting the shit and being a nit-picky fucker. I like nearly all of you who said they spank or would spank, so the amount of judgement I'm passing on is nill, plus I'm still challenging my own ideas and a few of you have brought up good points.



One of the reason why Ron Paul is unelectable to the masses is, interestingly enough, the fact that he wants to recall all our troops and close all our military bases overseas.

1) the military/industrial complex wouldn't allow it <tinfoil hat/>

2) The republican base and some (most?) democrats recognize the fact that we live in a world with violence. (See any news story about the riots over that shitty mohammad movie)

And until we've got the rest of the world as pacified as your typical soccer mom you need some military out there protecting your countries interest.

Does that mean I like it? No. But RP won't temper his message to be centrist enough to get elected.

Well my point in posting that wasn't about whether or not he's electable, but because I was trying to draw an assumption that if you love him, you likely believe in the non-aggression principle, since that's one of is primary guiding philosophies. With that said, I'll try again... The reason your child will be 'better' than any random 'spanked child' will be not because you spank or don't spank but because you're a parent that will take the time to read studies about if you should spank or not. That preparedness and studied approach you take to parenting will make you a better parent and your child better behaved. NOT the fact that you never spanked your child.[/quote] I agree that a parent who takes the time to try and be the best parent they can be will likely produce a great kid. If you have that same type of parent who chooses to spank, I agree the kid will still likely turn out to be a great kid; and while the difference in behavioral outcome of children spanked vs. unspanked may be a very small %, it's still worthy of a debate imo. I've just become interested in this stuff the last few years so I'm shooting the shit and being a nit-picky fucker. I like nearly all of you who said they spank or would spank, so the amount of judgement I'm passing on is nill, plus I'm still challenging my own ideas and a few of you have brought up good points.
One of the reason why Ron Paul is unelectable to the masses is, interestingly enough, the fact that he wants to recall all our troops and close all our military bases overseas. 1) the military/industrial complex wouldn't allow it <tinfoil hat/> 2) The republican base and some (most?) democrats recognize the fact that we live in a world with violence. (See any news story about the riots over that shitty mohammad movie) And until we've got the rest of the world as pacified as your typical soccer mom you need some military out there protecting your countries interest. Does that mean I like it? No. But RP won't temper his message to be centrist enough to get elected.
Well my point in posting that wasn't about whether or not he's electable, but because I was trying to draw an assumption that if you love him, you likely believe in the non-aggression principle, since that's one of is primary guiding philosophies. With that said, that spanking is against the non aggression principle. So when I asked for consistency, it was under the assumption you believe in the NAP while advocating spanking."]the case has been made that spanking is against the non aggression principle. So when I asked for consistency, it was under the assumption you believe in the NAP while advocating spanking.
 
I agree that a parent who takes the time to try and be the best parent they can be will likely produce a great kid. If you have that same type of parent who chooses to spank, I agree the kid will still likely turn out to be a great kid; and while the difference in behavioral outcome of children spanked vs. unspanked may be a very small %, it's still worthy of a debate imo. I've just become interested in this stuff the last few years so I'm shooting the shit and being a nit-picky fucker. I like nearly all of you who said they spank or would spank, so the amount of judgement I'm passing on is nill, plus I'm still challenging my own ideas and a few of you have brought up good points.

Indeed. Personally, i have a 3 month old daughter. Way to early to 'spank' or anything. When the time comes we'll be using what my wife's mother did... which is a nice little quick pinch on the back of the arm above the shoulder if and when necessary (its pretty tender back there.)

'Spanking' (to me) is more about getting a child's attention and getting an abrupt stop to the current behavior rather than any sort of punitive punishment for past behavior.

But do i think that the traditional over the knee spanking will lower my childs IQ?

Am I giving the kid brain damage? No.

There should be some other factor at play here. (aka I don't believe the correlation is properly attributed to spanking)

Well my point in posting that wasn't about whether or not he's electable, but because I was trying to draw an assumption that if you love him, you likely believe in the non-aggression principle, since that's one of is primary guiding philosophies. With that said, the case has been made that spanking is against the non aggression principle. So when I asked for consistency, it was under the assumption you believe in the NAP while advocating spanking.

I think what RP should be pushing is that he wouldn't go about unilaterally bombing countries.

The fear that his opponents create is that we'll just withdraw all our troops into our borders as soon as he is elected. Which i think even RP would think is a bad idea.
 
No one would say a little rape is ok, a little murder is just fine n' dandy, a little slavery never hurt no one! But people confuse it with spanking. I think it's partly because of the terminology used. "Spanking", ah, an accepted practice of behavioral adjustment. Why not just call it what it is? Using violence to force your child into submission. No moral adult would ever use violence to force another adult into submission, and because children are not our inferiors, regardless of what many parents mistakenly believe, it's not justifiable to use violence to force children into submission either.

This is a good discussion. Here are my thoughts.

I don't put children equal with adults. If they were equal they would be able to take care of themselves and be independent. Children are not adults. Yes, they are equal in that they are entities experiencing life, however, they have not grown into their independence yet. The same can be said about most people living off the government. They are still children living off the government. They haven't become rational, mature people yet. So not everyone is equal. And adults and children are not equal either. Yes there are exceptions. Some children are more mature and rational than their parents, but this is the exception. So children generally are not rational beings capable of taking care of themselves, they need an authority figure to take care of them. So the reality that they have a parent is already a declaration towards them needing an authority. If they don't need an authority leave them and see what happens. Children need parents. So this isn't a balanced equation, we are the authority with children.

In many ways children share attributes of animals. You can't reason with a child like you can't reason with a dog or a cat. They are going to do what they want to do, often times without reason behind the actions. You can't treat them on the level of a mature human being until they become one. Of course it would be great if you could tell the child that stealing is wrong and end it there. But children are like an animal acting on instinct (to various degrees). The fact that they have done something worthy of correction is already an argument in favor of them not being equal. Is it better to reason with your dog about staying in the yard or are you better off putting up a fence? Do you reason with your dog about staying close to you when you walk or do you get a leash? Is it bad to be the master and authority above your dog? That's the level of consciousness that they're at. You deal with people with the language and consciousness that they are able to grasp, not where you wish they were.

Slavery, for example, is not necessarily wrong. Most people in the world are slaves to their governments. Both parties are happy. The people love it and the masters love it. And until the majority of people reach a level of maturity to where they no longer need a government they will continue to appreciate their servitude. There is a time and place for all things. Governments wouldn't exist if we had mature people. Spanking wouldn't exist if we had mature children. But we don't, they're children.

You're not using violence to force your child into submission. You're using violence to teach them, the same as you would use any other type of teaching. It would be great if you could teach your children or pets with an intellectual conversation but unfortunately they are just not there. So you have to degrade higher forms of education to lower forms of education commensurate to the consciousness of the entity. If they can't be taught through reason then you work your way down to something they can be taught with. There isn't a right or wrong way to teach somebody. To some people violence may be a good teacher, to others it may be a bad teacher. In one case violence may be a great method of instruction, in others not so great. It depends and it's not so simple as saying this is always bad and this is always good.

There are cases where violence can be a better teacher than non-violence. When a child touches a hot stove and the stove commits an act of "violence" on the child the child learns real quick not to touch the stove again. Do you think the child would have learned not to touch hot things if this hadn't happened? The smart ones capable of ascertaining the conclusion through reason and thought probably would have. But not all children are this smart. And the ones who aren't smart are going to learn the hard way unfortunately. Most people learn things the hard way, adults and children.

So is spanking wrong? I think it depends. I don't think it's fair to say that it is always wrong or that it is always right. That's where we as adults should use discernment to measure and gauge the proper form of instruction for each case.
 
In many ways children share attributes of animals. You can't reason with a child like you can't reason with a dog or a cat. They are going to do what they want to do, often times without reason behind the actions. You can't treat them on the level of a mature human being until they become one. Of course it would be great if you could tell the child that stealing is wrong and end it there. But children are like an animal acting on instinct (to various degrees).

My daughter is 2 1/2. I can reason with her just fine. Also, the more you treat children like they're responsible for their own actions (and consequences), the more they behave that way in my experience.

I was spanked as a child occasionally, and it was a mistake. It just made me vengeful, angry and violent. I remember that when I'd been spanked by the headteacher at school, I'd be so full of rage at the incident that I'd go and kick the shit out of some other poor kid. I genuinely believed that it was a legitimate way to impose your will on others, so that's what I did.

Violence begets violence.
 
This is a good discussion. Here are my thoughts.

I don't put children equal with adults.

No, they're obviously not equal in cognitive ability, experience, knowledge, etc. and yes, they're dependent. But I wasn't referring to that, I was referring to the fact that they're human beings as well, at their most vulnerable stage in life, who will eventually become adults.

"I can do this to you, because you're a child! And you must obey me because I'm your parent!" sounds awfully a lot like the hierarchical authority that we see in the state, and religion. "Don't disobey our 50,000 laws, or else!", "Don't disobey thy god, or else!" That type of methodology that's taught to children breeds them into acceptance of the state and religion, unfortunately.

In many ways children share attributes of animals. You can't reason with a child like you can't reason with a dog or a cat. They are going to do what they want to do, often times without reason behind the actions. You can't treat them on the level of a mature human being until they become one. Of course it would be great if you could tell the child that stealing is wrong and end it there. But children are like an animal acting on instinct (to various degrees). The fact that they have done something worthy of correction is already an argument in favor of them not being equal. Is it better to reason with your dog about staying in the yard or are you better off putting up a fence? Do you reason with your dog about staying close to you when you walk or do you get a leash? Is it bad to be the master and authority above your dog? That's the level of consciousness that they're at. You deal with people with the language and consciousness that they are able to grasp, not where you wish they were.

Great points, but how is any of the above justification for using pain as a way to correct behavior? Sometimes children are children, you can't place unrealistic expectations on them, because as you said, they're not capable of our level of understanding. So what do you do? Hit them because of it?

Slavery, for example, is not necessarily wrong. Most people in the world are slaves to their governments. Both parties are happy. The people love it and the masters love it. And until the majority of people reach a level of maturity to where they no longer need a government they will continue to appreciate their servitude. There is a time and place for all things. Governments wouldn't exist if we had mature people. Spanking wouldn't exist if we had mature children. But we don't, they're children.
I don't agree. Slavery was wrong when it was practiced, just ask the slaves if they thought it was wrong, I'm sure they'd say yes. The earth wasn't the center of the solar system just because people once thought it was. People only think government necessary because they've been propagandized into believing it's necessary, that doesn't mean government is right.



There are cases where violence can be a better teacher than non-violence. When a child touches a hot stove and the stove commits an act of "violence" on the child the child learns real quick not to touch the stove again. Do you think the child would have learned not to touch hot things if this hadn't happened? The smart ones capable of ascertaining the conclusion through reason and thought probably would have. But not all children are this smart. And the ones who aren't smart are going to learn the hard way unfortunately. Most people learn things the hard way, adults and children.

When a child touches a stove it's not because they're being bad, it's out of ignorance. No one would voluntarily burn themselves if they knew better. Now you're saying that's proof that some children should be spanked in order to stop them from doing things like putting their finger in a light socket, or running into traffic, I'm saying (a) get some fucking light switch covers (b) don't put such a young child in the position of running out into the road while simultaneously (c) consistently letting them know why we don't do those things.

Here's a scenario, let's say your 8 yr old daughter won't pick up after herself. After pleading with her a bunch of times, she won't pick up her socks and shit. Would you think it's OK to spank her so she'll start picking up her shit?

Then let's say being the dirty webmaster you are ;), you don't pick up your shit stained tighty whities last night, or your left a deuce in the toilet, or you left some dishes out. Is it okay for your wife to get a belt and beat you? Obviously that's ridiculous, so I'm not sure why we think it's okay to do that to children, who are more vulnerable and dependent; it's even worse imo.

If people are going to spank, they need to be consistent with it at least and accept that same level of accountability. If they litter, they need to accept it if a stranger spanks/hits them for it. They need to accept violence as a means of correction whenever it is they do something wrong. Obviously no one who spanks is very receptive to that idea, so in the end we have hypocrisy.
 
Dreamache, I fucking love you. I love you babyyyyyyyyyyyy. Everytime I see your posts, I get asthma and say "that's my baby!"