My 5,000th Post - Not What You Expected

Originally Posted by wiredniko
It comes down to this, I can have all the knowledge in the world but if everything I do fails I cannot call myself a success. Does that make sense?
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you need to want it as much as you want to breath and then you have to put in the work. Unless your born w/ a silver spoon in your mouth, or just get lucky, you need to work your ass off. Forget sleep you need to work. Forget eating you need to work. Successful people are simply willing to do the things that unsuccessful people are not willing to do. This is also part of the reason the OP is getting divorced, he made those sacrifices not everyone is willing to make (including his wife)

Are you willing to make those sacrifices? If not that's ok. Its ok if you want to give up and do something else. Thats what most people do so it wouldn't be that uncommon. But all of this kinda goes against the original intent of this thread. This thread was not supposed to be about making those sacrifices its actually the polar opposite.
 


dmnEPC said:
This thread was not supposed to be about making those sacrifices its actually the polar opposite.
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It's actually about finding the right balance.

JB didn't say you shouldn't work your ass off to build a better life for your family and kids. He's saying that you should know when to step away for a bit to spend time with those that actually matter. Especially since the entire reason he spent so much time on his business was so that he could do that anyway, ironically.

Money is great, but it's just a means to an end. He didn't want those reading this to forget that.
 
Deep breath. Alright, my first reply was written while I was finalizing a $3M product at work so I spoke from my lower kind of bitter self.

Now that everything went through work wise, lets talk AM stuff. Sorry to derail the thread but I want to give props and comments where needed.

pocketrockets said:
There are plenty of real examples of success out there to learn from. Here are 2 with hundreds of profitable sites you can study and get ideas
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Thanks. I have actually spent some time checking out sites on Flippa. Some of them look kind of non legit to me, but I can see what you mean. I did not know about Latona's so I will check it out.

mituozo said:
Your perception of success is skewed by the media, because you only hear of the site going from 1 visitor to 1 million overnight and so forth. You don't hear about the years of hard work before it, because it's just not newsworthy.
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I fully understand this concept. I do not expect it to just magically work. I have been in it long enough to realize that its not going to happen overnight. As I mentioned I have been working on AM stuff for 2 years.

Now onto G...

guerilla said:
Your attitude sucks. You have learned a lot. You didn't reach your goals, but you're much more capable of doing it now than you were two years ago.

People don't like to pay their dues, but that's part of the game. The last thing I worked on, everybody started thinking they were a rockstar, and they didn't have to put in the sweat anymore. And things fell apart.
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I was trying to drive a point. These past two years I have learned more than the last 10 years of my life. I have faced fear, uncertainty, frustration and persistence. Those are just quality traits, there are much more. Basically AM has changed who I am, how I think and how I live. Having said that when you get no positive re-inforcement is hard to keep going. At this point I am just being stubborn and place my faith in the system so to speak.


guerilla said:
I think you believe it's easy for everyone to make it, and that success is linear. It isn't. I don't think most people get how much work it takes to make something great, and how rare a big break is. And conversely, how many people here barely make $50k a year.
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Perhaps this is what I am learning right now, that success is not linear. I can see why things are like a J curve or more like a series of J curves followed by plateaus.

guerilla said:
I was up until 3.00 AM screenshotting competitor sites and making notes about each screenshot. 5 months in. On a Sunday night. Do I know my next project will be fantastically successful? Hell no. It might flop horribly. But I refuse to give up. I'll pivot it, which is what you should have done with your news site as soon as you recognized the flaw in your model.

I'll say it one more time. There is no one who is great who doesn't work and has worked very hard at it. They didn't give up, they didn't feel sorry for themselves (as you are) and they didn't throw in the towel and do something futile.
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I have a question for you. How many times did you fail in the beginning before you got your first success? The "problem" is you have tasted success so you know that it can be done. I am just putting blind faith that it can. Part of me thinks I am just a fool for trying. Ever met the guy that keeps talking about his business and its something dumb that he fell for because of a guru out there? I am afraid I am that guy...only I got no gurus. I just have a bunch of crazy people on online forum.

Some days, like this morning it feels like I am walking in a desert, and I am going West, cause someone said go West you will find water...and I keep walking and walking.

Other days it feels like I am climbing a beautiful mountain were I become one in nature, I have not made it to the top, but I know I have covered distance.

guerilla said:
You're welcome to do the MFA thing. But if you're looking for something low impact so you can fail small, you're doing it all wrong.

Get your head straight. Find your nuts. Be determined. Fuck everybody else.

Or you can be a slave to your self-defeating attitude.

It's your life.
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You have a point, I am looking into MFA so I can fail small. That is problematic.

And for the record I believe my attitude sometimes makes me feel hopeless, like I am some kind of a retard for not being able to make it. Perhaps this is a thing I need to overcome so I can move forward.

Working for yourself is funny. Its like layers of the onion, I have gotten to the point that I have realized that primarily its the self that prohibits us from having success.
 
cziffra said:
If you want to build content sites, I recommend finding an evergreen topic instead of something time sensitive. Alternatively, find a way to make your existing project more evergreen. This should allow you to focus your efforts on things that get you more traffic instead of just trying to keep up to date with news. I don't think it's bad to use Adsense in the beginning, but try to find a niche that can be monetized in other ways too (affiliate, direct ads, digital products, etc.).

I don't know how much time you invested in building links, but you might be able to get traffic more easily by focusing on content and onpage SEO. If you find something broad enough, there should be a huge number of longtail keywords. Create high quality content to target as many of these phrases as you can. Focus on getting your on-page optimization perfect. You need to spend a lot of time on keyword research to do this right.
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I have thought about this. Evergreen is a big key in making sites, it took this site to fail to realize that. I was making an example to one of my friends, if I sent you to a site that has 2 year old news would you read it? I sent you to a site that talks about weight loss...it does not matter how old the news is. If you are interesting in the subject you will read it.

Oh, to answer G's question about pivots. I tried to think of a way I could pivot it but could not figure anything out. The only thing I could come up with was making a forum based on some search traffic I noticed I was getting, but that does not feel like a pivot, it feels like a jump to a totally different direction all together.

dmnEPC said:
you need to want it as much as you want to breath and then you have to put in the work. *snip* Successful people are simply willing to do the things that unsuccessful people are not willing to do.

Are you willing to make those sacrifices? If not that's ok. Its ok if you want to give up and do something else. Thats what most people do so it wouldn't be that uncommon.
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I am not planning on giving up. My faith gets shaken once in a while. That's pretty much it. I understand what you mean about wanting it bad enough. As I mentioned I work everyday with very few breaks in between, every day. I don't waste my time, again if I am not at work or the gym I am working on my site. Hell I even started working on my side business at work by developing better time management at work :ticking:

Anyway, you guys have given me a lot of things to think about today. Time to figure things out internally.
 
wiredniko said:
I have thought about this. Evergreen is a big key in making sites, it took this site to fail to realize that. I was making an example to one of my friends, if I sent you to a site that has 2 year old news would you read it? I sent you to a site that talks about weight loss...it does not matter how old the news is. If you are interesting in the subject you will read it.

Oh, to answer G's question about pivots. I tried to think of a way I could pivot it but could not figure anything out. The only thing I could come up with was making a forum based on some search traffic I noticed I was getting, but that does not feel like a pivot, it feels like a jump to a totally different direction all together.



I am not planning on giving up. My faith gets shaken once in a while. That's pretty much it. I understand what you mean about wanting it bad enough. As I mentioned I work everyday with very few breaks in between, every day. I don't waste my time, again if I am not at work or the gym I am working on my site. Hell I even started working on my side business at work by developing better time management at work :ticking:

Anyway, you guys have given me a lot of things to think about today. Time to figure things out internally.
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Just remember no matter how much you want to quit you have to keep forging ahead. It takes about 10 times of seriously wanting to pack up and quit. After that 10th time you will find things will begin to get a lot easier for you
 
dmnEPC said:
Just remember no matter how much you want to quit you have to keep forging ahead. It takes about 10 times of seriously wanting to pack up and quit. After that 10th time you will find things will begin to get a lot easier for you
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@ wiredniko

Yes that's about right 10 times of wanting to quit, 100 times of doubt and at least 5 persons have to tell you to go get a real job. However, you also have to see some incremental advances. A record earning day, a record traffic day, a record ranking, then a record week and a record month then it will all crash because you fucked up and used short term methods.

Then you will rebuild again and make consistent income, then once you have consistent income you will realize that now it's a question of just being productive and you will earn more and to also look for means of diversifying. This is where I'm at and I'm earning more than I did as a Senior SEO consultant - a job I quit after 14 days because I fucking hated it and only made about 3K from affiliate. Now I make a whole lot more, but it wasn't until I was at that point where I had the skills and it was a sink-or-swim situation that I succeeded. Took me 3 years from start to now all together.

It's a cliche, but most people probably quit just before the finish line, but you also have to be honest with yourself: Do you have the skills or not? I hope you're not a WaFo kind of person.

What matters is that you keep on being productive and failing and learning from that. That is all that matters, keep going, learn, adapt, profit.

But really, making a full time online income isn't for everyone or everyone would be doing it. Do you really, really want it, then you will find a way.
 
Sry to here that man... I wish you the best!

Keep your kids close, they will need you even more now then they ever did before!
 
stick2Herbs said:
Divorces can be expensive man, say goodbye to half your assets.

I know a couple guys that can take care of this for a lot cheaper if you're picking up what I'm putting down.
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rusvik said:
@ wiredniko
you also have to see some incremental advances. A record earning day, a record traffic day, a record ranking, then a record week and a record month then it will all crash because you fucked up and used short term methods.
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And this is what hurts not seeing any incremental advances in the money department. Regardless this thread has allowed me to re-evaluate things, and perhaps shed the last of "I am a victim mentality".

It's a cliche, but most people probably quit just before the finish line, but you also have to be honest with yourself: Do you have the skills or not? I hope you're not a WaFo kind of person.
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I have a computer science degree and I am very methodical, sometimes when I work I feel like everything I have done was almost fate to allow me to reach that point. Its like, I was interested in psychology and got How To Influence People, then I come here and people are recommending what I already read out of personal choice. Its hard to describe how things click.
 
so sorry buddy, hope things will fix soon - try your best as you have done with your IM carrier and things may go well in the comming weeks with your wife 2 :? ...
 
eliquid - very sorry for your loss, i think about this all the time.

gonna order a pizza and watch tv with my wife tonight on the couch (might look at my stats from the mobile though)
 
erect said:
If yours has already thrown around "divorce" as an option, you can't appeal to her emotionally anymore. Don't bother trying. It's now a business negotiation and you both have goals. Make it happen and move on (in a non shallow, cold-hearted way) because either way you're stuck exactly where you are.
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Each person's situation is unique and I can see this being good advice for some, but a divorce filing doesn't guarantee one will occur, as many end up getting canceled. Even if the proceedings don't get canceled, the person who filed still has to sign final papers, in certain states at least. For a celebrity example, Kobe Bryant's divorce is all ready legally, but his wife is choosing not to sign off on it for now.
 
I keep asking my woman to do shit with me that doesn't involve me in the office and her on the couch refreshing Facebook and Pinterest, but she keeps saying no because she doesn't want to focus on anything but How I Met My Mother on repeat. Then she bitches at me because I don't appreciate her, or say thanks, or respect her at all.

Females in general are a lose/lose situation. They twist reality to fit their perceptions, and they twist their perceptions to fit their insecurities, and they twist their insecurities to try to use guilt and other emotional tricks to gain control over other's emotions.

They live complete lies.
 
thehobbster said:
I keep asking my woman to do shit with me that doesn't involve me in the office and her on the couch refreshing Facebook and Pinterest, but she keeps saying no because she doesn't want to focus on anything but How I Met My Mother on repeat. Then she bitches at me because I don't appreciate her, or say thanks, or respect her at all.

Females in general are a lose/lose situation. They twist reality to fit their perceptions, and they twist their perceptions to fit their insecurities, and they twist their insecurities to try to use guilt and other emotional tricks to gain control over other's emotions.

They live complete lies.
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Dude, book a hotel, not in the city you live in for a weekend, get some tickets to a show or something. Tell her you have something special planned for the weekend, keep teasing her, but DO NOT tell her what it is. Tell her to pack some shit and leave. No internet the whole trip, for either of you.
 
eliquid, I wish you all the best and hope this finds a happy end!

For the younger crowd and the ones in relationships, when it comes to women, all advice you'll ever need can be found here. Or here in case you want advice from a married man.
 
thehobbster said:
I keep asking my woman to do shit with me that doesn't involve me in the office and her on the couch refreshing Facebook and Pinterest, but she keeps saying no because she doesn't want to focus on anything but How I Met My Mother on repeat. Then she bitches at me because I don't appreciate her, or say thanks, or respect her at all.

Females in general are a lose/lose situation. They twist reality to fit their perceptions, and they twist their perceptions to fit their insecurities, and they twist their insecurities to try to use guilt and other emotional tricks to gain control over other's emotions.

They live complete lies.
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You can't ask her, you gotta put a leash on her and make her. You're the dominant male in the relationship, aren't you?

Get her out of that cycle before you start to look at her with disgust because she's just a dull zombie like every other boring piece of fuck meat out there.

Make her do stuff you'll both enjoy and she will be happier with herself and you, trust me, these types of women should be controlled.
 
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