When is it time to fart in front of my GF?

that depends ...

Will she quack like a duck when she sucks?
Will she buck like a horse when you fuck?
Can she take every inch up her butt?
Will she shit on your chest for good luck?

The above answers will give you a glimpse to what is and isn't acceptable bedside manner
 


As a woman I would say never. Faceblogger does it all the time that's why I drop some meat to his vegetarian meals in revenge.
 
sounds like you need to exercise your anus more often... it's easy to let out your farts slowly and silently with a strong anus
 
Let one rip, and if she says anything, tell her she does it all the time when she's asleep.
 
Just be strategic. I do it all the time and blame it on someone else.

At the club: there's 100 nearby guilty faces.
In the car: sewer gone bad again (always try to pass gas on the same avenue)
In the house: dogs are man's best friend, especially when they claim a fart for you
On the plane: the nearest A-Rab
At the store: meat section, because it's rotten
The other club: some stankin' bitches cunt
Backyard bbq: dogs are man's best friend, remember?
Cab: driver
Mall: timing is everything

Get creative my brethren.


SIDE NOTE: Be sure to criticize her every fart or she'll think she's allowed. Shame the shit out of her. Rather, shame it back in.
 
c4yrslf12 said:
Just be strategic. I do it all the time and blame it on someone else.

At the club: there's 100 nearby guilty faces.
In the car: sewer gone bad again (always try to pass gas on the same avenue)
In the house: dogs are man's best friend, especially when they claim a fart for you
On the plane: the nearest A-Rab
At the store: meat section, because it's rotten
The other club: some stankin' bitches cunt
Backyard bbq: dogs are man's best friend, remember?
Cab: driver
Mall: timing is everything

Get creative my brethren.


SIDE NOTE: Be sure to criticize her every fart or she'll think she's allowed. Shame the shit out of her. Rather, shame it back in.
Click to expand...

You put a lot of thought in this. Are you the king of farts?
 
c4yrslf12 said:
Just be strategic. I do it all the time and blame it on someone else.

At the club: there's 100 nearby guilty faces.
In the car: sewer gone bad again (always try to pass gas on the same avenue)
In the house: dogs are man's best friend, especially when they claim a fart for you
On the plane: the nearest A-Rab
At the store: meat section, because it's rotten
The other club: some stankin' bitches cunt
Backyard bbq: dogs are man's best friend, remember?
Cab: driver
Mall: timing is everything

Get creative my brethren.


SIDE NOTE: Be sure to criticize her every fart or she'll think she's allowed. Shame the shit out of her. Rather, shame it back in.
Click to expand...

This sounds like a Seinfeld episode :1orglaugh:
 
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