The Internal Black Void

wiredniko

wiredniko

Jedi in training
Jul 20, 2010
712
26
0
New York
Being an entrepreneur is such a life altering change. I am letting go off a failed project and looking to start a new one and I find myself utterly horrified.

The best way I can describe that feeling is...its like being suspended in a black void, there are no attachments, you just are a body in the middle of nothingness. There is no heat or cold, no gravity, everything blends the shell that I call my body becomes just an outline, and even then the outline fades away.

Suddenly you entire inner self is exposed to the world.

And in that moment, the moment of nothingness you embrace that fear...and you are free falling from the sky. There is no one there to hold you or guide you, you are just falling, self correcting, facing yourself with the end goal of reaching a self created target.

...it has become a habit, facing my fears.

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Can anyone relate? :small-smiley-026:
 


yes. I wrestle with all kinds of demons that no one really knows about, and entrepreneurship both exacerbates the issues and is my passion. I like to think of it as going down in a glory of fire and explosions :)
 
dchuk said:
yes. I wrestle with all kinds of demons that no one really knows about, and entrepreneurship both exacerbates the issues and is my passion. I like to think of it as going down in a glory of fire and explosions :)
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Thank god, I had hoped I was not the only one.

I wonder why that is? Is it our lizard brain trying to protect us from harm because we are stepping up? Years of brain washing in school to be a worker bee?

Not sure, and I have a full time job. I can't even imagine how it feels just doing this as the sole source of income.

I have talked to some of my friends about it, but no one even gets it. I have felt similarly with my daughter, but it was different. In my head I knew that a) I had no choice b) If other people have done it then I could as well.
 
Find a nice girl who'll stick with you through the thick & thin. That feeling than becomes MUCH less painful, if not non-existent.

Knowing that regardless if you fuck up or do good, you're still going to get that hug / love at the end of a day is pretty important to have.
 
The Anal Black Void

I too, find my outer-self fully exposed proceeding a night of excessive intoxication, fueled by my strongest, yet closeted homo-erotic webmaster desires. I wake up and I'm exposed, only to find my deepest fears realized as I free fall from dreamland to reality; I look to the broken mirror that lay parallel on the floor, and looking back in my exposed state, I'm facing my fears, I may be a gay webmaster.
 
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNjSkrHPKg8]Family Guy Dance Of Life - YouTube[/ame]
 
We've all been there, bro. Keep pushing forward. Anythings possible.

Sent from my ADR6300 using Tapatalk 2
 
wiredniko said:
Thank god, I had hoped I was not the only one.

I wonder why that is? Is it our lizard brain trying to protect us from harm because we are stepping up? Years of brain washing in school to be a worker bee?

Not sure, and I have a full time job. I can't even imagine how it feels just doing this as the sole source of income.

I have talked to some of my friends about it, but no one even gets it. I have felt similarly with my daughter, but it was different. In my head I knew that a) I had no choice b) If other people have done it then I could as well.
Click to expand...

Unless your friends are also entrepreneurs, they simply won't ever be able to relate. I've given up on lamenting to non-startup friends, they don't understand how we think.

The vast majority of people don't operate on the "go for broke" mindset. It's unsettling to them. There's no security, it's lonely, and it's scary as fuck because you're blazing your own trail, not following a path laid out for you by someone else.

You really have to make sure you're mentally sound before heading down such a path because it can honestly be dangerous to take on the risks of entrepreneurship if failure and emotional rollercoasters kick your ass. I'm not saying that in a dick swinging sort of way either, I'm constantly feeling terrible because I have a lot of things entirely external of what I do professionally that affect my ability to think straight. It sucks, but again, it's my passion and I'll be damned if something will get in my way. Smoke some cigarettes and slow life down when you feel overwhelmed.

I will literally fight to the death to live my life the way I want to live it.
 
wiredniko said:
What do you mean?
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One of the most difficult things about working for yourself is the fact that there are no clearly defined paths for you to follow.

Every situation is different, and almost nobody can give you any information on how to get where you want to go.

This is very different from corporate life, or really any other kind of life where the tasks and associated rewards are clearly defined.

My suggestion was a joke, but there is a kernel of seriousness there, in that if you can align yourself with a larger entity you may be able to leech some structure from their organization and regain a bit of the clarity of purpose you may have had as an employee.
 
wiredniko said:
Being an entrepreneur is such a life altering change. I am letting go off a failed project and looking to start a new one and I find myself utterly horrified.

The best way I can describe that feeling is...its like being suspended in a black void, there are no attachments, you just are a body in the middle of nothingness. There is no heat or cold, no gravity, everything blends the shell that I call my body becomes just an outline, and even then the outline fades away.

Suddenly you entire inner self is exposed to the world.

And in that moment, the moment of nothingness you embrace that fear...and you are free falling from the sky. There is no one there to hold you or guide you, you are just falling, self correcting, facing yourself with the end goal of reaching a self created target.

...it has become a habit, facing my fears.

----------------

Can anyone relate? :small-smiley-026:
Click to expand...

You are a poet who ignores his dna by pursuing a lesser mans values. What you're stumbling over is clusters of diamonds while straining to reach for flecks of gold.

The long talk with yourself does not include im, and that's okay. Trust your real passion and it will take care of you and those you care about.
 
the risks are big but rewards are bigger.

I have a cousin lawyer that charges $200 an hour, u know what he does in his spare time? building a janitorial business, because he knows that there is no roof when u own ur own business even if it is as measely as sweeping floors.

I know several people that have trade licenses (plumbing,general contrct, electricians) that work as an employee in that respective trade. I ask them why the fck they aint out there running their own business and that all have the same answer...
.."it aint worth it"

da fck!!

peasants dont know how to think outside the box, neither do they know how to hustle. they rather work for another person and have structure in their day to day life.

I would die to have a trade license, cause I already have the marketing and business part down.
 
guerilla said:
Starting a business != entrepreneurship.
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niri.png


Ok bro.
 
|<ick Bac|< said:
the risks are big but rewards are bigger.

I have a cousin lawyer that charges $200 an hour, u know what he does in his spare time? building a janitorial business, because he knows that there is no roof when u own ur own business even if it is as measely as sweeping floors.

I know several people that have trade licenses (plumbing,general contrct, electricians) that work as an employee in that respective trade. I ask them why the fck they aint out there running their own business and that all have the same answer...
.."it aint worth it"

da fck!!

peasants dont know how to think outside the box, neither do they know how to hustle. they rather work for another person and have structure in their day to day life.

I would die to have a trade license, cause I already have the marketing and business part down.
Click to expand...

Have a trade license, self employed....

It takes a certain mindset to remain successfully self employed that not all tradespeople possess. The industry I am in is flat lining and a change to my daily routine is eminent. The key to maintaining the status quo is to diversify or die. Some people can be deterred from self employment due to the uncertainty of what lies ahead so they die wondering what might have been. Some are happy to have what they think is job security but will never realise their full potential. Not everyone is suited to be a freelance earner.
 
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