There are a few things kids have no say in determining. One of them is the name they're given, and another is the parents they are born to. If you don't think that giving them these names is abuse, then you've probably never had any classmates named Dick Burns or Emma Royds. How about Hugh Jorgan, Jack Goff, or Mark Skid? Actual classmates of mine, and the only reason I remember them is because they were constantly badgered. These kids are gonna need therapy for sure.