So I drank alcohol for the first time yesterday...
- Thread starter W1NN1NG
- Start date
Lol, go outside and ask someone? Do you have friends? Do you possibly know any stoners? Do you know anybody with a medicinal marijuana card?
My wife is out of town til Monday and I am getting fucked up for the first time in my life. I went to a Strip Club last night, got a lap dance, and the stripper let me grab her tits while she rubbed her vagina totally naked on top of me. I got home and drank alcohol for the first time, and I am looking to do more. I already put up an ad for a casual encounter on Craigslist.
I've always hated the taste of alcohol too. Good thing, because 9/10ths of my ancestors have died from alcoholism. Some people never get a taste for it, some puke from the smallest sip. Tolerance to it's horrid taste takes time for anyone; even the hardest drinkers had to start small and build up.
Some drinks to try in the "girly" range are ones like the Bartles & James line, or "Mikes Hard Lemonaide." -Any alcoholic beverage that is fruity, however, would be called girly, and usually has a lower alcohol content. Try a Zima, too. Not bad if you aren't looking to get laid out flat.
I prefer lower-content mixed drinks like a white Russian or Bailey's Irish cream-based stuff. Yummy... But expensive.
One thing you do NOT want to do; mix Gatoraide or Poweraid in with a strong alcoholic drink like vodka... You might not be waking up from that experience with your tolerance level. Just don't.
And don't forget the timeless advice by the Hitchiker's guide:
"Here’s what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that
alcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and
also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that
the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.
It says that the effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your
brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.
The Guide also tells you on which planets the best Pan Galactic Gar-
gle Blasters are mixed, how much you can expect to pay for one and what
voluntary organizations exist to help you rehabilitate afterwards.
The Guide even tells you how you can mix one yourself.
Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol’ Janx Spirit, it says.
Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V – Oh
that Santraginean sea water, it says. Oh, those Santraginean fish!
Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must
be properly iced or the benzine is lost).
Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of
all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint
extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle
sweet and mystic.
Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading
the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.
Sprinkle Zamphuor.
Add an olive.
Drink ...but ...very carefully ...
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than the Ency-
clopedia Galactica."
Some drinks to try in the "girly" range are ones like the Bartles & James line, or "Mikes Hard Lemonaide." -Any alcoholic beverage that is fruity, however, would be called girly, and usually has a lower alcohol content. Try a Zima, too. Not bad if you aren't looking to get laid out flat.
I prefer lower-content mixed drinks like a white Russian or Bailey's Irish cream-based stuff. Yummy... But expensive.
One thing you do NOT want to do; mix Gatoraide or Poweraid in with a strong alcoholic drink like vodka... You might not be waking up from that experience with your tolerance level. Just don't.
And don't forget the timeless advice by the Hitchiker's guide:
"Here’s what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that
alcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and
also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that
the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.
It says that the effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your
brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.
The Guide also tells you on which planets the best Pan Galactic Gar-
gle Blasters are mixed, how much you can expect to pay for one and what
voluntary organizations exist to help you rehabilitate afterwards.
The Guide even tells you how you can mix one yourself.
Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol’ Janx Spirit, it says.
Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V – Oh
that Santraginean sea water, it says. Oh, those Santraginean fish!
Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must
be properly iced or the benzine is lost).
Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of
all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint
extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle
sweet and mystic.
Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading
the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.
Sprinkle Zamphuor.
Add an olive.
Drink ...but ...very carefully ...
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than the Ency-
clopedia Galactica."
hahaha. sad, but likely true.
By the way OP, the more sugary your drinks are, the worse the hangover will be. If you do get wasted, try to drink some water and eat something before you go to bed. It will make your morning at least bearable.
Beer enema. seriously, a lot of my hard core alcoholic friends do it all the time. They all do it then go to work.......Im doing it right now.
Like others have said above: Try "fruity" drinks like screw-drivers, or even something a bit harder like coke and rum. I've have friends who hated drinking, but really enjoyed coke and rum and screwdrivers.
(O_o)
H̨̼̩͐̑͆̀̚&
I haven't lol'd like this for ages. Thanks for the funniest thread I've seen on any forum for quite awhile.
