Need critical imput on a product launch LP

ThatSwissIMGuy

ThatSwissIMGuy

New member
Jun 17, 2009
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Hi guys

Just doing my first product launch (only been doing PPC to CPA so far) and I need some feedback on the LP.

It's in sales letter form but i'm currently building a non-sales letter one.

I'm glad for all imput you got, good or bad! I know theres a lot to improve on there, but I had to start somewhere.

Thanks!

http://www.nomoresweatstains.com
 


First of all it's "input".

2. What's up with the logo? Is this for a swiss audience?
3. Colorscheme is not fantastic, especially the yellow, which kinda blend in with the background
4. The overall "top" is too big. There's a lot of white space below the logo that's not necessary. Also, the space between the top navigation and the image looks awkward
5. I needz them "Buy!" buttonz
 
You need to re-think (or think for the first time) from a consumer's mindset. You have just a few seconds to grab your visitor when they hit your page. Go back and look at what you see above the fold. Not much huh.

better utilize this space - less white space
ALOT stronger call to action
summarize the info in bullet points (people like to scan)
even below the fold the call to action is way too weak - I know that your headlines are clickable but my mother does not. make it easy on the visitor to convert for you.
 
- Top image way to big.

- Auto start video (commercial, with clear call to action) on top right, smaller headline on left.

- Headline should be a "i use to have this problem, and though i am no 'expert' i solved it by product"

- I don't think people need to be reminded that sweating _is_ a problem so much as to show some of the angles of why its a problem they might have missed. "I was talking to this girl and everything was going great (or so i thought) but then my arms .... yadada).

- there is no clear enough call to action at all. "Check for your size, button" No urgency notice "buy now or you will pay 5000 and your family line will be wiped from the earth for ever"

- clip art is lame, and those people probably don't resonate with your crowd.

- you should be writing to ONE person.






- Now you can let it "flow" and is in yellow, definitely sounds very gross to native English speakers.

PM me for still available domain name suggestion
 
Now you can just let it flow without worrying...


That sounds disgusting. If you're marketing to native english speakers, you gotta change that.
 
I generally let it flow without worrying...well sometimes it burns but I think that's clearing up.
 
Header image is way too big and a bit strange.

The name Laulas is just floating in space...maybe put a short buyline under the name?

Get better testimonial pics - those really, really look fake. Especially Caroline.

Get some CSS and fieldsets on those bullet points - use a nice, soft color background.
light blue, green (pastels)

You need to work on your Engrish
NOW, I WANT TO SHARE TO YOU

^^^ Change that quickly... I would like to share with you.

Your opening Header statement is very weak and boring.

Get your video above the fold - it's useless at the bottom. There are so many obstacles that would prevent someone getting that far down the page - meaning, alot of people will probably bail and never see it.

Why aren't you capturing visitor emails? Whip up a quick PDF about defeating your sweating problems and give it away as a bonus in exchange for their email. make sure you get the input box above the fold.

and, im out...
 
I put the video on top so that should help.

Order today and I'll give you a 10$ rebate AND free shipping!

Edited to add: I'm still looking for Launch partners if you find the product interesting!
 
To sell that product, you are going to need to do a 2-step. Optin-->Salespage. And if that doesn't do it, you are going to have to draw the sales process alot longer. After they optin, spend a little while getting to know them, writing blog posts for them, and shit like that.

Protip: Jack a good landing page template from somewhere. There is no sense in building one from scratch (especially if you have a hard time coding). It's all about the offer (i.e. the words on the page) so just get a simple template. Like Thesis 1-column.
 
Also another Protip.

Protip: Once you optimize your page to sell from the advice you are given there will be about 30 others just like it because the vultures here will steal the landing page.
 
#1 When I scan it without reading anything, I don't know what you want me to do. My brain needs to see a 'buy now' button with some kind of price next to it.

#2 Get #1 above the fold somehow
 
bprimeelite said:
Also another Protip.

Protip: Once you optimize your page to sell from the advice you are given there will be about 30 others just like it because the vultures here will steal the landing page.
Click to expand...

I own the license rights to the product so that's not an issue.
 
One time I let it flow without worrying...

aphoto00361.jpg
 
way too much white-space, particularly on the left side. color scheme doesn't grab attention, and your images don't grab any attetntion. Text is decent, but nothing about the above-the-fold content or images catches attention, need some more CTAs/hero shots.
 
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