My Roommate Smells like Shit
- Thread starter samgeneric
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Fuck man, I know that feel.
I'm in high school and I was in this gym glass with this really fat kid, and one time I was walking behind him after gym glass up stairs and I'm like: "oh dear lord, what is that rancid smell that smells like a mixture of nacho cheese gone bad mixed with feta cheese?!" and then I looked up and there was a huge ass sweat mark in his crotch/ass area.
NEVER AGAIN. Never will I walk behind a fat ass who just underwent strenuousness physical activity.
On the other hand there's also this Indian dude who always smells like shit, but to a varying degree day to day, probably depending how hard it went at the curry the night before. And I was just like "Oi, you straight up smell like ass dude, so you for the love of all that's holy take it easy on the curry".
True story.
Also, one of my good friends used to kind of smell like I dunno a mixture of wood/diesel/gun powder. He is straight up redneck like most redneck person I will ever probably know. And some girl just once came up to him during class and was like "you smell like a hamster". He stopped smelling like wood/diesel/gun powder after that. But I still called him hamster for a month or two just to piss him off.
All true stories. PM for publishing rights.
I'm in high school and I was in this gym glass with this really fat kid, and one time I was walking behind him after gym glass up stairs and I'm like: "oh dear lord, what is that rancid smell that smells like a mixture of nacho cheese gone bad mixed with feta cheese?!" and then I looked up and there was a huge ass sweat mark in his crotch/ass area.
NEVER AGAIN. Never will I walk behind a fat ass who just underwent strenuousness physical activity.
On the other hand there's also this Indian dude who always smells like shit, but to a varying degree day to day, probably depending how hard it went at the curry the night before. And I was just like "Oi, you straight up smell like ass dude, so you for the love of all that's holy take it easy on the curry".
True story.
Also, one of my good friends used to kind of smell like I dunno a mixture of wood/diesel/gun powder. He is straight up redneck like most redneck person I will ever probably know. And some girl just once came up to him during class and was like "you smell like a hamster". He stopped smelling like wood/diesel/gun powder after that. But I still called him hamster for a month or two just to piss him off.
All true stories. PM for publishing rights.
I agree with the Frabreeze idea, every time he comes near you spray the bottle at him then turn your head an ignore him. Or grow balls and straight tell him, "Dude you smell like road kill! How do you get laid?"
Do what I do with co-workers.
Get a doctor appointment - go get a physical, whatever. Or just tell him you had a doctor appointment.
Then wait a couple of days and tell him you got your results back and you have a touch of asthma. Very seriously say "I'm really sorry to ask you this, but they recommend I stay away from all scented colognes and antiperspirants or else I could have some really bad shit happen.
Then offer to buy him anything unscented he wants, plus a 6-pack to boot.
Win/win.
Get a doctor appointment - go get a physical, whatever. Or just tell him you had a doctor appointment.
Then wait a couple of days and tell him you got your results back and you have a touch of asthma. Very seriously say "I'm really sorry to ask you this, but they recommend I stay away from all scented colognes and antiperspirants or else I could have some really bad shit happen.
Then offer to buy him anything unscented he wants, plus a 6-pack to boot.
Win/win.
Tell the dirty little fucker to take a shower and than hand him a beer and just smile. Im all about the bearded clam and not smelling my own dumpster. sorry if he is not. Frank out
P.S. Good luck jerky
P.S. Good luck jerky
when you bathe him be sure to check under his fat rolls for food such as grilled cheese because you said he had a moldy smell so some food might be decaying in the fat crevices.
Roll him around in a big pile of flour. It'll stick to the wet spots and then you'll know exactly where the stank is coming from.
Poor hygiene is a classic symptom of depression, it's a form of apathy. If you don't really care about anything, or have low self esteem, your not going to care what others think about you.
Screaming at someone or embarrassing them about it won't do anything but cause things to be even more awkward or hostile.
Not sure if I buy the whole not drying off or using enough soap stuff either. I don't do it myself but I've heard of people who won't use soap because of the chemicals (hardcore primalists or vegans), so they just wash well and supposedly smell fine.
Now, showering with really hot water, or over-drying doesn't do any good because your almost immediately sweating after you get out of the shower. The hot water or rough rubbing on the skin opens up your pores and makes it easier to sweat.
The two possible solutions are either, 1) shower with cooler water and don't dry off so much that the towel feels like sandpaper, or 2) They need to find something that drags them out of their apathy, and makes them feel like they have some purpose. After that it feels good to take care of yourself. Getting into a relationship or learning a new skill are two things that accomplish that.
Screaming at someone or embarrassing them about it won't do anything but cause things to be even more awkward or hostile.
Not sure if I buy the whole not drying off or using enough soap stuff either. I don't do it myself but I've heard of people who won't use soap because of the chemicals (hardcore primalists or vegans), so they just wash well and supposedly smell fine.
Now, showering with really hot water, or over-drying doesn't do any good because your almost immediately sweating after you get out of the shower. The hot water or rough rubbing on the skin opens up your pores and makes it easier to sweat.
The two possible solutions are either, 1) shower with cooler water and don't dry off so much that the towel feels like sandpaper, or 2) They need to find something that drags them out of their apathy, and makes them feel like they have some purpose. After that it feels good to take care of yourself. Getting into a relationship or learning a new skill are two things that accomplish that.
This passive-aggressive pussy attitude is part of what is turning this country into a hypersensitive, politically correct pile of bullshit. Instead of telling yourself "I don't want someone mad at me so I'll pretend like my Doctor said so", grow some fucking balls and be up front. The real world isn't high school where you get to do whatever you want as long as you have a doctor's note.
If you have actually don't this, you area huge pussy and the person you said it to saw right through your pathetic attempt at deflecting the blame from yourself.
Parents, please stop coddling your children, else they grow up to become gutless little shits like the people above that have suggested doing anything other than "Man up and just tell him he stinks."
Just be true to him... Have some beer and say it to him that he stinks. Do some few rounds of boxing and everything will be just fine.
Who's name is on the paperwork at the place you two live, if its yours tell him, "change your scent or gtfo"
