My Roommate Smells like Shit

[samgeneric]

So my roommate (and business partner) smells like a heavy dose of old spice and sweat. I told him the other day, and he said, "people always complement me on how I smell." Which is probably true because, I mean, what the hell do you tell someone who smells like must.

Anyhow, I thought about buying him some expensive cologne or something, but realized that 1) that's gay and 2) maybe he'd be insulted.

Suggestions?

 

[linkpro]

Is he Indian? No offence.

Tell him he stinks. He'd be pissed, but then he would probably take precautions to prevent the same issue again.

And you then get a better smelling room..

 

[Your_Pal]

get a girl and let her convey the same words you posted here:- " You smells like a heavy dose of old spice and sweat GO get a cologne"

 

[dmnEPC]

Just tell him he fucking stinks and if he doesnt change, your moving out and will no longer be his "life partner"

 

[samgeneric]

He's not Indian. He's a pitiful looking super fat white-Irish dude.

@Your_Pal, that's sort of genius.

@dmn_EPC moving is not actually an option.

 

[GerardWon]

What is smelled cannot be unsmelled.

 

[thehobbster]

I've had two fat friends who stunk very badly and would leave the stink on anything they touched like some grimy film. Turned out it wasn't because they were fat. That was a symptom of their laziness which caused the real issue. Those mother futters didn't shower. Ever. The roomAte one said he didn't like to because it was too cold when he got out.

 

[Garyrae]

Tell him he's a dirty fenian and he needs a wash.

Srsly, don't beat about the bush, the only way is to tell him straight out and hope he does something about it. Buying a cologne will just mask the smell, until he runs out and doesn't buy any more, then you're back where you started.

 

[Your_Pal]

I've had two fat friends who stunk very badly and would leave the stink on anything they touched like some grimy film. Turned out it wasn't because they were fat. That was a symptom of their laziness which caused the real issue. Those mother futters didn't shower. Ever. The roomAte one said he didn't like to because it was too cold when he got out.

lulz...

 

[slickymedia]

Just tell him to this.

Could you please smell your armpits brah? a rat might have died there.

^^

 

[samgeneric]

@thehobbster, oh he showers. He doesn't smell like b/o. He smells like Old Spice mixed with wetness. It smells like he just rolled around in beaver glands and then molded in his sleep.

 

[infoslob]

So my roommate (and business partner) smells like a heavy dose of old spice and sweat. I told him the other day, and he said, "people always complement me on how I smell." Which is probably true because, I mean, what the hell do you tell someone who smells like must.

Anyhow, I thought about buying him some expensive cologne or something, but realized that 1) that's gay and 2) maybe he'd be insulted.

Suggestions?

"Dude you stink, take a shower".

That's the easy part.

The hard part will be having to live with the fact that you bragged to another man on how great you smell. As far as gayness goes, that's right there with sliding a hand into his back pocket during a walk in the park.

 

[clyde]

Tell him if he starts taking regular showers you'll spoon him in bed.

 

[samgeneric]

Ok, here's what I'm doing.

I'm going to hire a high class prostitute to hang out with me. Introduce her to him as my date to the opera or something classy (he won't listen to anyone who isn't his mom or who he thinks has class) and then have her make a choking sound when he comes in, and insult him very bluntly. Then I'll stand up, apologize, and leave. Pay her off, then go to a bar for a job-well-done beer.

 

[flx89]

use a perfume on him when he's sleeping.

 

[emergent]

Ok, here's what I'm doing.

I'm going to hire a high class prostitute to hang out with me. Introduce her to him as my date to the opera or something classy (he won't listen to anyone who isn't his mom or who he thinks has class) and then have her make a choking sound when he comes in, and insult him very bluntly. Then I'll stand up, apologize, and leave. Pay her off, then go to a bar for a job-well-done beer.

report back. definitely want to hear about this one.

 

[1yerrot]

Ok, here's what I'm doing.

I'm going to hire a high class prostitute to hang out with me. Introduce her to him as my date to the opera or something classy (he won't listen to anyone who isn't his mom or who he thinks has class) and then have her make a choking sound when he comes in, and insult him very bluntly. Then I'll stand up, apologize, and leave. Pay her off, then go to a bar for a job-well-done beer.

PURE WIN...

 

[emergent]

use a perfume on him when he's sleeping.

Spray him with that, ask him how many people complimented him at the end of the day.

 

[AllBizNiz]

Buy him some Axe to spray when he's full nude before he throws his clothes on. Then buy some Acqua Di Gio he can spray when he's done getting ready. Tell him to also use Old Spice after hours or something.

 

[Crazydayz]

Surely you must have some female friends who can help you out rather than a hooker. Maybe he doesn't know how to wash his clothes or something.