Hello Bros,
I wanted to share with you my recent first time experience with a colonic irrigation, aka colonic hydrotherapy. I thought this would go well here because:
1. Who hasn't profited from cleaning a colon? Amirite?
2. Gay webmasters enjoy it in the ass.
So here is the quick backstory. My wife read a book called the Amazing Liver and Gallbladder Cleanse by Andrew Moritz. She wanted to do the cleanse and wanted me to do it with her. One key part of the cleanse is getting your colon cleaned via a colonic irrigation.
A colonic irrigation is what you think it is. A bunch of water gets pumped into your ass and up into your colon. The water washes out most everything and cleans you out.
My Colon Hydrotherapy Experience
So the wife and I drive up to the address and it turns out it is someones house. My wife almost backed out right at this moment. She was expecting a more doctors office type of setting. Instead, we were at some strangers house about to get water pumped into our asses.
We were not totally sure we were even in the right place, there were no signs or anything. I went to the front door and rang the bell. About the same time the woman who's business this was came around the side and invited us down to her basement. She was in her forties and looked in very good health. Her basement was set up with a little office where she sat with us and went over everything. A quick health history talk and why we were here. Standard get to know you before we fill your asses with h2o.
So she took us into the room where the table that shoots water into your ass is and showed us how it works. Essentially you lay on your back with your feet resting out in front of you and knees bent. Your back / head is slightly elevated. Almost like how an astronaut is sitting at launch. There is a sheet draped over your entire lower body, nothing indecent shown.
On the table, right where your ass goes is a open space where you, for lack of a better term, shit everything out. Whatever comes out goes into the opening and down into a pipe.
It is washed down the pipe and routed through a clear PVC pipe running along the left hand side of the table near the floor. Through this clear pipe you can watch / see everything that comes out of you. She has a little mirror mounted above your head so you can lay back and watch via the mirror or you can lean over and look down to another mirror at the floor, or directly to the pipe. You get plenty of views of your waste as it flows out and into the plumbing.
So - how it works is there is a little tube on the table as well that she puts a fresh / unopened nozzle on, lubes it up and as you sit on the table you guide the tube up your arse about 2 inches. The nozzle is about the size of a girls pinky (yeah cmon).
Once the said nozzle is up the ass, you turn this lever and a gravity powered machine presses clean water in your colon at a slow, safe pace.
Your job is to hold it as long as you can and then when you gotta go, to push it out. The nozzle stays in (weird i know) as you go. Water plus years of build up comes forth with a vengeance I've yet to experience before.
I was amazed with the quantity of build up that flushed free. You sit on the table with the water pumping for about 35 minutes. I was amazed with the amount of material that came out.
The hydrotherapist will either stay with you and discuss what expels and do an abdomen massage to help loosen everything up or will leave you in private to do it on your own. I opted for privacy. Weird shitting in front of a stranger and all.
You repeat the hold water as long as you can then push it out process for about 30-35 minutes. She came in every so often and changed the water temp. She said it helps the colon contract and expand which helps dislodge any sludge build up.
The Results
So - what came out? It was hard to say exactly how much but if I had to estimate I would say about 4-5 days worth of volume was expelled during this process. She said any small 'pellets' are typically found in the folds of the colon and have been there for possibly years. They get caught up and stuck there - from eating fried and processed foods a lot (which i did a few years ago). I did have a good bit of those flow forth my friends. Enough to make me go, damn son, I can't believe I had that much shit up there.
All in all it wasn't that bad. Physically it was a bit uncomfortable as the water flowed up into my colon but it was not painful. The tube in the ass was, well a tube in the ass. Gay webmasters can handle it.
I totally feel cleaned out and feel better in general. I would do it again.
She left us with three key pieces of advice.
1. Chew your food more than you think you should.
2. Drink half your body weight in oz of water each day.
3. Get a squatty potty and use it. Says humans are designed to squat and shit, not sit and shit.
I'd recommend it if you've been feeling not the best lately or just want to experience something out of the ordinary that will make you feel better. If you happen to live in the northern ATL area and want a reference, shoot me a pm.
I wanted to share with you my recent first time experience with a colonic irrigation, aka colonic hydrotherapy. I thought this would go well here because:
1. Who hasn't profited from cleaning a colon? Amirite?
2. Gay webmasters enjoy it in the ass.
So here is the quick backstory. My wife read a book called the Amazing Liver and Gallbladder Cleanse by Andrew Moritz. She wanted to do the cleanse and wanted me to do it with her. One key part of the cleanse is getting your colon cleaned via a colonic irrigation.
A colonic irrigation is what you think it is. A bunch of water gets pumped into your ass and up into your colon. The water washes out most everything and cleans you out.
My Colon Hydrotherapy Experience
So the wife and I drive up to the address and it turns out it is someones house. My wife almost backed out right at this moment. She was expecting a more doctors office type of setting. Instead, we were at some strangers house about to get water pumped into our asses.
We were not totally sure we were even in the right place, there were no signs or anything. I went to the front door and rang the bell. About the same time the woman who's business this was came around the side and invited us down to her basement. She was in her forties and looked in very good health. Her basement was set up with a little office where she sat with us and went over everything. A quick health history talk and why we were here. Standard get to know you before we fill your asses with h2o.
So she took us into the room where the table that shoots water into your ass is and showed us how it works. Essentially you lay on your back with your feet resting out in front of you and knees bent. Your back / head is slightly elevated. Almost like how an astronaut is sitting at launch. There is a sheet draped over your entire lower body, nothing indecent shown.
On the table, right where your ass goes is a open space where you, for lack of a better term, shit everything out. Whatever comes out goes into the opening and down into a pipe.
It is washed down the pipe and routed through a clear PVC pipe running along the left hand side of the table near the floor. Through this clear pipe you can watch / see everything that comes out of you. She has a little mirror mounted above your head so you can lay back and watch via the mirror or you can lean over and look down to another mirror at the floor, or directly to the pipe. You get plenty of views of your waste as it flows out and into the plumbing.
So - how it works is there is a little tube on the table as well that she puts a fresh / unopened nozzle on, lubes it up and as you sit on the table you guide the tube up your arse about 2 inches. The nozzle is about the size of a girls pinky (yeah cmon).
Once the said nozzle is up the ass, you turn this lever and a gravity powered machine presses clean water in your colon at a slow, safe pace.
Your job is to hold it as long as you can and then when you gotta go, to push it out. The nozzle stays in (weird i know) as you go. Water plus years of build up comes forth with a vengeance I've yet to experience before.
I was amazed with the quantity of build up that flushed free. You sit on the table with the water pumping for about 35 minutes. I was amazed with the amount of material that came out.
The hydrotherapist will either stay with you and discuss what expels and do an abdomen massage to help loosen everything up or will leave you in private to do it on your own. I opted for privacy. Weird shitting in front of a stranger and all.
You repeat the hold water as long as you can then push it out process for about 30-35 minutes. She came in every so often and changed the water temp. She said it helps the colon contract and expand which helps dislodge any sludge build up.
The Results
So - what came out? It was hard to say exactly how much but if I had to estimate I would say about 4-5 days worth of volume was expelled during this process. She said any small 'pellets' are typically found in the folds of the colon and have been there for possibly years. They get caught up and stuck there - from eating fried and processed foods a lot (which i did a few years ago). I did have a good bit of those flow forth my friends. Enough to make me go, damn son, I can't believe I had that much shit up there.
All in all it wasn't that bad. Physically it was a bit uncomfortable as the water flowed up into my colon but it was not painful. The tube in the ass was, well a tube in the ass. Gay webmasters can handle it.
I totally feel cleaned out and feel better in general. I would do it again.
She left us with three key pieces of advice.
1. Chew your food more than you think you should.
2. Drink half your body weight in oz of water each day.
3. Get a squatty potty and use it. Says humans are designed to squat and shit, not sit and shit.
I'd recommend it if you've been feeling not the best lately or just want to experience something out of the ordinary that will make you feel better. If you happen to live in the northern ATL area and want a reference, shoot me a pm.
