That hurts man, and this is not your fault. Do not put burden on yourself and blaming yourself for what happened. You had great if not one of the best intention and motivational drive there is, making sure your kids had the greatest life possible. Not a lot of parents or people in general knows the definition of sacrifice, you did what you thought was right. All the best man.
My 5,000th Post - Not What You Expected
- Thread starter eliquid
- Start date
Sorry to hear this. Been through a divorce too, though with no kids it was a lot simpler. BeerNuts was spot-on IMHO with his advice to keep busy and not allow yourself to become isolated.
We've never really interacted much on here and I'm sure you have plenty of people to talk to, but please feel free to contact me if you feel like it.
We've never really interacted much on here and I'm sure you have plenty of people to talk to, but please feel free to contact me if you feel like it.
You got my number brother (skype'd again just in case), you call/text anytime you need anything.
I'm so shocked mainly because I know of this feels and I have been there. I hope you can make it through. Time heals the greatest pain. You already made a big step by knowing what you did wrong. Perhaps you can try to make up now. It is never too late, but kids these days they grow fast...
Got divorced 3 years ago and I'd give you advice on how to do shit, but the Australian and US legal systems are probably pretty different. I'll just say keep your own advice in mind as sometimes it's just easier to let things go rather than fight for every last dollar you believe you're "owed". The emotional stress on yourself and your kids sometimes isn't worth the money.
Sorry to hear bro. You got my full moral support.
You've made a big jump in your realization about the pursuit of money and what true fulfillment is about. It's made you grow already.
But now you got things to deal with. Hang in there, don't lose your cool. Don't give up on your relationship, your family, your kids.
You've made a big jump in your realization about the pursuit of money and what true fulfillment is about. It's made you grow already.
But now you got things to deal with. Hang in there, don't lose your cool. Don't give up on your relationship, your family, your kids.
Sorry to hear that. Feel free to reach out if you need a nigga to talk to.
Also you can take a trip out here to Asia and chill /w me if you wanna take a breather from everything.
Also you can take a trip out here to Asia and chill /w me if you wanna take a breather from everything.
What kind of fucked up shit is that to post? I know this is WF STS but come on man have a little respect. Especially for someone who actually tries to give back to the community.
I will say.. Don't beat yourself up over this. Marriage is difficult... supporting a family is difficult. She could have given you a different, less drastic wake up call. You sound like you would've cared enough to to pay attention without her having to follow through with divorce.
That said, it may not have a fucking thing to do with what she says it does. Maybe she's just bored and needs some justification to get away. Marriage is an unnatural expression of love in the first place imo. Nothing lasts forever bro.. so don't feel like a failure. It will hurt like a motherfucker for at least a year.. this is the most important time to control your emotions and realize it's really not that bad. I know that sounds shitty.. but I guarantee you in a few years you will look back and think the same.
Genuinely learn to wish your ex the best. If she's searching for something in her life you don't understand.. just realize life is confusing as fuck for all of us. We're animals thrown into this culture full of odd expectations and restrictions. Maybe she just wants to fucking run? You know? Continue to love her as the mother of your children and help when she needs it.
This is the important part.. Be happy with the the memories that you do have and focus on your kids. While I think that in time you will realize that the regret you feel now is fleeting.. If you allow yourself to fade into the background as a father.. You will die with that regret on your mind. It will haunt you. So.. wish your ex the best... but if she starts getting in the way of you being with your children, even in a few months when things have normalized... fucking demolish her at her own game. That sounds harsh but the family court will most likely be on her side.. You simply have to play the game smarter than her. Use the legal system like you would run a campaign... know everything about that shit. Be smart... you're emotionally vulnerable now and I've seen many men lose the ability to be a father bc they were manipulated in their time of grief. Don't be vindictive.. but be on the fucking OFFENSSIVE when it comes to the courts and your custodial rights. Collect evidence you can use against her if it comes to that. Be willing to lose money (bc you're about to) but do not let her control the situation. Family courts can be a bitch. Have a strategy and a bad ass lawyer. Now is not the time to give in to her needs/wants/demands because you want to win her back.. Sorry, it's probably just not going to happen. Protect your rights as a father first and foremost.
Good luck bro.
i'm really sorry to hear that, but a thread from some time back, describes my point very well
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUW7GvCJPsA]Kevin O'Leary answers a question on sacrifices - YouTube[/ame]
basically, make a ton of money, and then go for what's valuable in life. If you take another route, chances are, you are going to fail at at least 1 of those things.
I know it sounds easier than done and you might think that there's another way, take it from a man who saw some very bad moments, it's better to secure your financial future, and then start a family. That way you can pay attention to things that really matter and not worry about your well being. You don't want to be in either one of those fucked up situations which will quite possibly happen if you try to make those 2 things at once.
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUW7GvCJPsA]Kevin O'Leary answers a question on sacrifices - YouTube[/ame]
basically, make a ton of money, and then go for what's valuable in life. If you take another route, chances are, you are going to fail at at least 1 of those things.
I know it sounds easier than done and you might think that there's another way, take it from a man who saw some very bad moments, it's better to secure your financial future, and then start a family. That way you can pay attention to things that really matter and not worry about your well being. You don't want to be in either one of those fucked up situations which will quite possibly happen if you try to make those 2 things at once.
Bro, you gave back more than your share to this forum. We didn't need a 5k gem.
Focus on your kids. Fuck your wife.
Time for you to find an attorney the best money can buy.
Focus on your kids. Fuck your wife.
Time for you to find an attorney the best money can buy.
