Is This Opt-In Page OK?



Your opt-in isn't above the fold. You have some grammar and spacing issues. The check is from 2005.

For opt-in to a free report, you shouldn't need a long sales letter or anything. Also, false scarcity through limiting the number of downloads is more likely to reduce your conversion rate than help it at all.
 
Here's an idea for you. Turn the cheque into a "form" and where the name is used (pay to) on that spot to have the visitor enter their first name and just below that their e-mail signature.

People like seeing their name on a cheque - you allow them to opt-in plus they see their name on the cheque.

You would have to rework your layout though...
 
This looks more like a sales page than a gateway page, I would lose all that bs with the check and such and save that for your pitch page.. id use like 3-4 bullets with good info, small testimonial, some picture of a douchebag smiling and make sure your form is above the fold, top right seems to work well.