I'm training to be a Witch.

thehobbster

thehobbster

The Kwisatz Haderach
Jul 26, 2010
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www.tricklecheddar.com
I've got a few different colored rocks on my altar, a lil buddha incense burner, and I put a placemat from my kitchen table on top (i hope my mom doesn't catch me).

What else should I be doing? I've already read the Harry Potter trilogy and Indian in the Cupboard.

I'm doing tapping for financial success while watching Army of Darkness and Conan the Destroyer back to back (only on the weekends (can't do it during with the week due to school nights).).

I quit my Sunday School teaching gig now and got transitioned into the nursery. I'm collecting baby hair and tampons and am sticking them to a peg board with chewing gum so I can make a voodoo doll later.

I'm just not sure what else to do. I really want to open my 3rd eye, but the vibrations in my 7th chakra aren't strong enough yet. I'm doing kegels constantly (as I type this), so I know my 1st chakra is pumping.

I'm trying really hard to find a unicorn horn on ebay. I bet that'd make a bad ass wand.

Any suggestions? I'd like to be a 4th degree witch belt by Halloween so I can open the Dark Portal to the Outlands (i'm so sick of questing in Azeroth right now)

I'm open to anything. ANYTHING. My JO Crystal is ready to get charged, so PM me, preferably with a picture of you with your crystal so I know I'm not wasting my time.
 


[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2PrugkCyrY]caught masturbating to WoW. - YouTube[/ame]

Hobbster on video?
 
Think of all the hard, long, wood broom poles you'll be gripping and riding on... Have you gone shopping for one yet? I assume these broom sticks come in all sorts of colors like brown, black and white..
 
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the great thing about being a witch and drinking too much is that you can always refill the bottles without beer on the wall
 
It's 3:56 am and I'm laying in bed with my dark blue jeans and a sharpie, drawing broken hearts and pentagrams all over them. They are kind of like a hex against guys who just want to use me and don't like me for who I truly am. I can't wait to wear them Monday to school. I bet I'll get comments as soon as I get on the bus, or even at the bus stop!

I get my allowance tomorrow. Should I spend it on a spiked dog collar or mascara and eyeliner? Which one is more witchy?
 
silly little hobb, just because you are gay doesn't mean you can be a witch.

You can be a sorcerer though. You just need balls. No matter how tiny and peweped they are.
 
To become a witch, you have to do this first:

http://jezebel.com/5827955/craigsli...camping-totally-non+sexual-group-masturbation

Manhood Camping Firequest. Lookin' for a 100% for real bros to share/experience manhood in all its glory. This is for real, I don't want to waste my time or yours. 100% JO and manhood, no sugar added. I AM NOT GAY. Don't even think this is a sex thing, it's all about manhood.
Looking for bros to head into the woods and bond by fire, experience life as men once lived it, JO circle, and fire/vision quests.
THIS IS NOT A SEX THING.
Gonna need some basic things/skills, I don't want to be slowed down by fools:
- must be in reasonable shape, if you get winded walking then stay home
- Ed Hardy camping gear, it's really good gear and it's awesome
- desire to be a man among men
- not afraid to wield a blade
- crystal, I'm not sharing mine
- must be able to make a fire
- gloves
- a knowledge of native vegetation (knowledge of psychotropic fungus a plus)
- knowledge of modern music
- protective/splash resistant eye wear
- 5 - 10 of those clip things that rock climbers use
We are gonna need a mobile music device, ipod or something. I'm bringing the music for the firequests and visionquests, Nickleback's The Long Road. I only have it on CD, so I'll have my discman as a last resort, an ipod would be nicer. Just sayin'.
Dont' want to see"
- bad attitudes
- gay/homoerotic behavior, this is a manhood thing. I AM NOT GAY.
- cock rings, can't keep it up w/o help, you aren't gonna make it on this quest
- firearms, there's gonna be enough guns going off and spent shells to pick up
- the nerds/dorks/lames/and anyone less than 100% into manhood.
If you are serious, then I promise you this will be the trip of your life. It will change the way you think. I'm serious, and I AM NOT GAY. To see a group of bros being men, a JO circle by a camp fire. The charge/energy in the air. Crystals get jacked, no lie. You will slip into a different frame of mind, you will feel electric.
Last outing, we had a group that was so charged we attracted bears. It was no deal, nature knew man was in the forest, the crystals gave us the confidence to own those bears. I saw it, I was there.
100% SERIOUS, NO FAKERS
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