When I was in Bali one of those fuckers jumped on my head and wouldn't get off. The park rangers told me all I could do was keep walking which would eventually make the monkey want to jump off. Well, I walked around for like 5 minutes before the little bastard jumped off.
I'm not quite sure whether the rangers were just having a laugh at my expense or not.
At one point the monkey trainer grabbed a staff to hit the monkeys, only to find himself facing a stick-brandishing monkey that cracked him over the head.