Before you watch G.I. Joe you should know...



aelusive said:
I heard GI Joe was pretty good, better than Transformers.
Click to expand...
It was way worse. Transforming robots make Transformers.

Even Snake Eyes was kinda lame in GI Joe.

There is way too much action, and almost no plot. And that's not what GI Joe was about. It wasn't a non-stop action fest. It wasn't about endless high tech gadgets.
 
I'm afraid to see this movie now. I was excited at first, but now I fear it won't live up to my 'raised in the 80's' standard of what GI Joe cartoons should represent..... I'm calling fail already (despite all the action and hot chicks I observed in the trailers).
 
I've heard nothing but terrible reviews about this movie as well. I think I'll pass and just watch it on pay-per-view in a few months.

As far as alcohol in theatres, there is an old theatre by my house (It's over 100 years old I believe) and they do sell beer for the movies. At least, last time I was there they did, it's been a few years. They used to also allow smoking, before it was against the law to smoke indoors in public establishments. And yes, it was highly annoying trying to watch a movie in the same room with a bunch of drunk assholes talking and getting up to piss every 30 seconds.
 
I put this in the same mental space as the Super Mario Bros movie.
Fantastic movie, if only it didn't claim it was ain anyway, shape or form attached to the so called basis material.

If this was another near-future action movie, and didn't use any of the G.I.Joe properties, you guys would all fucking love it.
Everytime they they mentioned names like "Cobra", I just crammed fingers in ears and went "LALALA!!" until they stopped talking... much to the annoyance of everyone else in the theater... but that's probably because Hoyts' Director's Suite has girls with nice arses in tight pants bringing booze right to your seat when you press a button, and I was pressing it a lot last weekend.
 
HarveyJ said:
If this was another near-future action movie, and didn't use any of the G.I.Joe properties, you guys would all fucking love it.
Click to expand...
Uhm, no. This was terrible. The only thing it had going for it was the budget.

The fact it shat all over the GI Joe franchise just made it worse.
 
It's a fun movie. I was expecting a level of badness similar to the Street Fighter movie with Van Damme or something. This is more at the level of the Fantastic Four movies.

Apparently they can maintain a pg-13 rating and still kill as many people as they want in a movie, by such ways as sword impalement and throwing stars to the face, as long as they show hardly any blood. I wasn't expecting to see people's heads being exploded. YO JOE!

The Ballad of G.I. Joe from Cha-Ching Pictures, Olivia Wilde, Zach Galifianakis, Alexis Bledel, Billy Crudup, Julianne Moore, FOD Team, Chuck Liddell, Sgt Slaughter, Tony Hale, Laz Alonso, Joey Kern, Henry Rollins, Alan Tudyk, Vinnie Jones, and Josh
 
pvp20090811.gif
 
BOOM BOOM Hahaha BOOM BOOM BABABABABABABABABABABADADDADADBA SHING SHING CHANG BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! JOES FTW BAM

The End.

And that is my summary of this film in a nutshell.
 
^ Ebert's review made it obvious he was clueless about G.I. Joe. For one thing, he says that ninja were added to appeal to the Japanese, when in reality they have been one of the major themes in G.I. Joe for around 25 years. Now of course a large percent of the people that they want to go see the movie are also just as unfamiliar, but some of Ebert's review gave the impression of a person reviewing a Superman movie and pointing out things like there being no need for him to wear a cape.


Better than the movie was the recent adult swim show that was written by Warren Ellis :
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DJAZCHeUXE]YouTube - G.I. Joe: Resolute Part 1 (of 10)[/ame]
 
Moxie said:
^ Ebert's review made it obvious he was clueless about G.I. Joe. For one thing, he says that ninja were added to appeal to the Japanese, when in reality they have been one of the major themes in G.I. Joe for around 25 years.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I read that and had the same impression, Moxie. Ebert is well-read, but I doubt G.I. Joe ever hit his radar. He got the ninja part wrong.

That said, I've learned to trust him about movies. I'll occasionally disagree with him, but when he says a film is a stinker, I'm apt to believe him. I benefit 9 times out of 10 because he helps me avoid bad films and introduces me to films I'm unlikely to find on my own.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom