*** ASW - Postwhore Contest #3!! ***

Status
Not open for further replies.
A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish. By the time the food is ready and he is about to eat, the waiter comes back and says, "Sir, I'm afraid there has been a mistake. You see, that police officer who is sitting at the next table is a regular customer of ours and he usually orders the same dish. The problem is, this is the last chicken in the house. I'm afraid I'll have to take this dish to him and arrange for another dish for you!"

The guy gets really upset and refuses to give up his food. The waiter walks over to the other table and explains the situation to the officer. A few minutes later the officer walks over to the man's table and says, "Listen and listen good. That is MY chicken you are about to eat and I'll warn you, whatever you do to that chicken I'll do the same to you. You pull out one of its legs, I'll pull out one of yours. You break one of its wings, I'll break one of your arms!"

The man calmly looks at the chicken, then sticks his middle finger in the bird's rectum, pulls it out and licks it. He then gets up, drops his pants, bends over and says, "Go ahead!"
 


An old man in the nursing home got a bottle of wine for his birthday. He talked the old lady in the next room into sharing it with him.

After they were both totally bombed, he started groping the old lady and pulling at her clothes. He managed to get her blouse and bra off before she stopped him.

She said, "I can't do this, I have acute angina".

The old guy says "God, I hope so, you've got the ugliest tits I've ever seen."
 
One day a single mother was in the grocery store with her 4 kids. They were acting up. Bad little kids. They were running around grabbing items off the shelves crying and screaming all over the place. The mother grabbed all and said "I should of swallowed all of you!"
 
The difference between having Guts and having Balls...

Guts is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

Balls is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next."
 
and more and more and more

engaged you land a job yet?

not yet, but im headed to the bay area (at my parents house in scottsdale now). move to silicon valley on the 2nd. 5 minutes from sand hill rd, so hopefully i can one day break into VC. not sure what ill do in the meantime.

have a meeting with a well known VC when i get there, so we'll see what happens.
 
read my msg tangem

yeah...thats pretty sweet good luck getting in man...if you have to offer to work for one of the smaller firms for free...i know of a couple people that have gotten into trading that way.
 
yeah...thats pretty sweet good luck getting in man...if you have to offer to work for one of the smaller firms for free...i know of a couple people that have gotten into trading that way.


been thinking of doing that.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.