What's some weird shit you did as a kid?

sirthomas

sirthomas

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May 4, 2012
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Remember the fun times you had when you had an imagination and you did cool weird stuff by yourself?

I remember the first time I started masturbating. I had asthma at that time. So I had this little yellow device to deliver the medicine and I lubed it up and used to fuck it while watching my moms vhs pornography while she was working.

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Do you ever regret bug genocide? I don't... I used to put snails in the microwave and they'd crawl out of their shells before they died. Bleach or kerosene on an ant hill was fun to watch. I would lure them out by sprinkling sugar outside the anthill so I could watch more death.

Your turn!
 


I kidnapped a giraffe from the zoo and rode it around the east side of Detroit. When some guys tried to giraffe-jack me I slid down the back and started fucking it in the ass. They took off running in the other direction. Then I cut one of its legs off and soaked the hoof in kerosene, lit it on fire, stripped off all my clothes and started running down the street naked with my giraffe leg torch singing "I'll be home for Chirstmas" by Bing Crosby.

Other than that nothing too out of the ordinary.
 
OP you are a fucking weirdo.

Did you clean the device after you fucked it before you delivered yourself medicine again? I bet you didn't you dirty fuck.


One time I tried to jump a fence and landed in the middle and cut my ballsack real bad. YOLO.
 
I filled up some frogs with water using syringe, seemed like a good idea at that time, now I realize that that's cruel and wouldn't do it again.
Extremely bloated frogs looked funny though.
 
One time when I was 4 I pooped in my pants on the way to the toilet. I let it drop down my pant leg, then scooped it up into my palm, and proudly brought it to my mom who was in the kitchen frying chicken livers. Needless to say she recoiled as if shot :) At the time though I saw no difference between the poop and the livers; my 4-year old mind was quite confused..
 
sirthomas said:
Remember the fun times you had when you had an imagination and you did cool weird stuff by yourself?

I remember the first time I started masturbating. I had asthma at that time. So I had this little yellow device to deliver the medicine and I lubed it up and used to fuck it while watching my moms vhs pornography while she was working.
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Wait, wtf, you would watch your mom's pornography?
 
Why are you guys giving him a hard time about watching his moms porn? I bet most of the people here have touch themselves while watching their moms get railed once or twice growing up.
 
ShadowCaster said:
I filled up some frogs with water using syringe, seemed like a good idea at that time, now I realize that that's cruel and wouldn't do it again.
Extremely bloated frogs looked funny though.
Click to expand...

Used to catch fish and then stick firecrackers in their mouth and blow them up.

Which then progressed ... So it was the morning of September 11th, 2001 and....
 
A friend had two springloaded BB guns. We used to wear goggles and shoot at each other from across a playing field.

A friend and I lit a field of sumac on fire when we stole his little sister's cabbage patch kid and torched it with hairspray and a lighter on the railroad tracks behind his house. The interstate natural gas pipline runs through the field we caught on fire. We watched three fire trucks pass us on the way back to my friend's house. We went back later and saw the yellow and red metal warning signs sticking out of the ground among the burned branches of sumac.

My high school class's senior prank was a week of animal releases in school. Monday was lobsters in the toilets, Tuesday was worms in the drinking fountains, Wednesday was mice in the library, Thursday was rats in the halls, Friday was a chicken in the cafeteria.

We had the chicken in a box and three friends and I coordinated the move from the parking lot to the bottom landing of a stairwell that led up to the caf. We brought it upstairs to the landing, got the signal from across the room, and dumped the chicken out of the box. It just sat their looking around, not really doing much nor even looking confused, which surprised me at the time.

It was at this point that my friend and I looked at each other and realized it wasn't going to just put on a top hat and waltz out into the cafeteria so I kicked it hard from behind and sent it squawking into the room. We booked it fast down the stairs and across campus but we still heard the deafening uproar behind us (all guys school).

The teachers couldn't catch the chicken so a janitor sprayed it in the face with goof-off graffiti remover while students chanted animal abuse. The chicken started spasming and making weird noises so the janitor grabbed it and threw it out in the near field behind the school. The next period every class with a windowed wall facing the field proceeded to watch the chicken get the absolute shit kicked out of it and left for dead by a flock of harbor sea gulls. The period after that my AP English teacher printed out his grandmother's chicken gumbo recipe and passed it out to our class.
 
MSTeacher said:
It was at this point that my friend and I looked at each other and realized it wasn't going to just put on a top hat and waltz out into the cafeteria so I kicked it hard from behind and sent it squawking into the room.
.
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Lol, this cracked me up.
 
KaniGT5 said:
OP you are a fucking weirdo.
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Never looked at pics of your mom spreading while rubbing one out? Or tried out her dildo just for shits and giggles? Man, your childhood must have sucked!

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYTIYrvB_uk"]Weeds Season 4 Ep 9 Speech - YouTube[/ame]
 
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