Texts from last night.



281): had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.


You could post this a thousand times..funny each time
 
(775): Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
(504): Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.


L M F A O
 
MyOwnDemon said:
I knew the trolls would come out of hiding.

Well, apparently some people haven't seen it before and are enjoying it, so your fail is null and void. :D
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WHY THE FUCK DID YOU REPOST THIS?

jk bro

(615): drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.

(303): maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."

(519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

(720): o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket

(219): Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.

(972): I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
 
(216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
(440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
(216): Holy shit r u serious? How?
(440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
 
(215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
 
(916): So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
 
(508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation? ... (rec'd): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
(618): Why is there a hole in my wall? (recvd): Last night, after 8 shots, you had a dance contest with your dog, got mad cause you thought you lost, and punched the wall.
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lol .
 
 
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