Ok... I have a lot of advice to give you.
For starters, the offer page at [offer paged edited out] looks pretty busy. If I were to give them advice, I'd tell them to keep it simple. A powerful headline, some hard-hitting bullet points, and the form above the fold. You can put the rest of the busy stuff and extra information towards the bottom.
It doesnt really lead my eye anywhere in particular. When I load the page, I immediately see the Step 1 --> Step 2 --> Step 3 boxes. And this is where I start getting information overload. Next I look up at the green checkmarked bullets, look left, look down. Starting to get confused. Too many words flying at me. Thinking = bad.
Remember that its all about COMMUNICATION and TRUST. If you can simply communicate the correct message, it only takes a headline (here's what I got)... maybe some bullet points or a subhead (here's what it'll do for you)... and the form call to action (what to do next).
Secondly, I'm wagering that the market for this service is BUSINESS OWNERS (small and large). Knowing who you're marketing to is so KEY!!! People with a small online business, or an offline business they are taking online. With that in mind, I can already think of a decent headline.
[headline and ad info edited out in my own self interest]
<form>
Not the greatest copy in the world, but I think you get the point of what I'm saying here. The best book Ive ever read on copywriting is Tested Advertising Methods by John Caples. It's a simple read and its so far above anything else I've read or studied, that its just retarded. If somebody pointed me to this book when I first started, I would have saved a solid YEAR.
Now for your lander, I hate to say it but those are one of those cheesy 2002 templates. And they look very sales by design. Salesy = Bad. I think the centered headline gives it away. Align that fucker to the left so it looks like a legit article, and not an ad. Actually ditch the whole thing entirely, and start with a template like this:
[template screenshot edited out - normal WP 2-column lander]
Just tweak the CSS so the headline is a good size and looks good. Maybe delete the navigation out of there. I really like simple 2-column templates.
I like to copy print magazine articles (left-justified), because then your landing page looks like content, not an ad. When everything is centered (especially red-centered-headline!), it just looks like a sales page and most people immediately bounce away.
What I would do is...
1) Keep everything above the fold if you can
2) Do whatever you can to inspire TRUST in the visitor, for both you and the merchant. Maybe list their address for example. Put your office address in the top right and out of the way. Just its presence tells the person that you are not hiding.
3) Maybe test a strong opener on how the company helped you achieve a #1 ranking and now youre business has constant targeted leads coming in. Youre making more money now in less time now that the lead-generation is handled. And best part is the traffic is free search engine traffic blah blah.
If you have any specific questions, just let me know
