In my parts, I'm known as a wheeler dealer.. The guy who you go to when you're in need of some serious cash. In only five years, I have torn down millions of pounds.. fornicated with hundreds of fast bitches and swam with the dolphins off the coast of Barbados.
I have done it all damn it!
I have done deals with the infamous Frank Frasier, shook hands with Sinatra Jr and all for what? To come home on one random Thursday to find my whore of a wife indulging in a quick fumble with goodness knows who.. To heck with these serpents.
So what did I do you ask?
Well, nothing.. That's right I did nothing.. His penis was the size of a dirty cashew, so that awful betrayal didn't bother me as much. But I then leave the laundry room and walk up stairs... I slightly pushed open my bedroom door, walked into the room.. only to find the most gut wrenching scene obviously orchestrated by the most unscrupulous saboteur... It was my weed jar.. Sprawled across the floor.. Laying on it's side, ROBBED of it's greenery.. How could she........... How could they.
I slammed the door shut.. Spanked my monkey ever so quickly and then at once ran back down the stairs and left in a hurry.. My dealer had just left town weeks before, so I was dreading the thought of spending the next few days un-sedated..
Those treacherous bastards.. How dare they.
I needed my next fix!
But where from? Who do I turn to?
My dealer had that blueberry kush... That shit that makes your reefa snap crackle and pop on each toke..
Walking down the street I noticed some movement at the corner of my eye.. I turned my head only to see some shady fellow by the bins.. He says.. "Hey Tony.. You got a light"... I turn around, and received the shock of my life. It was my first client. He was wearing a wife beater and jesus sandals. I said to him "Winthorpe, it's been years... what are you doing out in the middle of the night all alone".. He squinted his left eye at me, and then shuffled his way across the street tripping over as his right sandal got caught in a drain pipe.. I rushed over to help him..
As I got nearer I smelt a pungent aroma.. Quite frankly, this guy smelt like a shit stained thong that had been left out to dry .. My eyes began to water as he removed his top hat, revealing his newly grown grey dreadlocks that had started to yellow.. He began to open his mouth.. "you screwed me over Tony.. you made me believe in you Tony..".. His voice started to dip into a deep grumble.. Then all of a sudden he shouted "LOOK AT ME!!!" with a deep undertone of frustration..
I took a step back realizing that Winny had no trousers on.. his wife beater was only long enough to reach the top of his thighs.. as he wobbled from left to right he began to make obscene gesture towards me with his penis.. I then said to him "Don't be a douche Winthorpe, I gave you no guarantees so settle down".. Winny began to cough whilst fiddling with what looked like a white tube.. I rubbed my eyes.. squinted a little bit and came closer.. MY GOODNESS... It was a reefer..
TO BE CONTINUED
I have done it all damn it!
I have done deals with the infamous Frank Frasier, shook hands with Sinatra Jr and all for what? To come home on one random Thursday to find my whore of a wife indulging in a quick fumble with goodness knows who.. To heck with these serpents.
So what did I do you ask?
Well, nothing.. That's right I did nothing.. His penis was the size of a dirty cashew, so that awful betrayal didn't bother me as much. But I then leave the laundry room and walk up stairs... I slightly pushed open my bedroom door, walked into the room.. only to find the most gut wrenching scene obviously orchestrated by the most unscrupulous saboteur... It was my weed jar.. Sprawled across the floor.. Laying on it's side, ROBBED of it's greenery.. How could she........... How could they.
I slammed the door shut.. Spanked my monkey ever so quickly and then at once ran back down the stairs and left in a hurry.. My dealer had just left town weeks before, so I was dreading the thought of spending the next few days un-sedated..
Those treacherous bastards.. How dare they.
I needed my next fix!
But where from? Who do I turn to?
My dealer had that blueberry kush... That shit that makes your reefa snap crackle and pop on each toke..
Walking down the street I noticed some movement at the corner of my eye.. I turned my head only to see some shady fellow by the bins.. He says.. "Hey Tony.. You got a light"... I turn around, and received the shock of my life. It was my first client. He was wearing a wife beater and jesus sandals. I said to him "Winthorpe, it's been years... what are you doing out in the middle of the night all alone".. He squinted his left eye at me, and then shuffled his way across the street tripping over as his right sandal got caught in a drain pipe.. I rushed over to help him..
As I got nearer I smelt a pungent aroma.. Quite frankly, this guy smelt like a shit stained thong that had been left out to dry .. My eyes began to water as he removed his top hat, revealing his newly grown grey dreadlocks that had started to yellow.. He began to open his mouth.. "you screwed me over Tony.. you made me believe in you Tony..".. His voice started to dip into a deep grumble.. Then all of a sudden he shouted "LOOK AT ME!!!" with a deep undertone of frustration..
I took a step back realizing that Winny had no trousers on.. his wife beater was only long enough to reach the top of his thighs.. as he wobbled from left to right he began to make obscene gesture towards me with his penis.. I then said to him "Don't be a douche Winthorpe, I gave you no guarantees so settle down".. Winny began to cough whilst fiddling with what looked like a white tube.. I rubbed my eyes.. squinted a little bit and came closer.. MY GOODNESS... It was a reefer..
TO BE CONTINUED
