Landing Page Critque

erifdekciw

erifdekciw

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May 3, 2008
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I made this lander for a debt lead gen offer. I ran some tests with it and it sucked ass. Normally I wouldn't do landing pages like this because they never seem to work. This page isn't the best I know but anytime i try to go with a direct approach like this it always does really bad...

I don't know how people can buy into a bunch of bull crap sneaky tactics but won't even give a chance a straight forward offer Ad.

Watching a lot of those marketing experiments webinars always makes me want to try marketing from a direct approach. Let me know what you think and what I can approve on. Id like to get better at marketing legit as possible and trying to stray away from basically tricking people.,,





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I know Marketing Experiments very well and I'm Landing Page Optimization Certified (basically their way of saying you paid $1500 for their landing page workshop, I got it for free).

Couple things I see right away:
The graph distracts the eye and draws it away from your intended eye path. The eye starts working down through the description, then gets distracted by the graph and then looks down at the testimonials.

On your button, get rid of "Click Here to Register". Only have something like "Get Out of Debt Today!" on a single line.

I think the biggest issue for you is that the eye path does not naturally go towards the call-to-action.

You have to split-test. I'd go with a single-column approach for your sales pitch, but put the testimonials in a separate column on the left-hand side.

It's very apparent that you've been watching the Marketing Experiments:
-an exact number for how many people you've helped
-testimonials
-advertising "awards"


Like said, split-test different landing pages. Change your button. Guide the eye towards your call to action. One analogy Flint McGlaughlin always uses, "Once you hook your fish (get a client to your landing page), you don't put the rod down and wait for the fish to come to you. You must guide the fish in and land it yourself. (guide the thought process to your call to action)"

Feel free to pm me if you have any questions. I could probably draw something out quickly. Also, if you use any of the above, let me know how you do.
 
excellent point. Ill change it up and let you know how it goes. Theres one thing i wanna ask though. What do you like about the page? What do you think im doing right?

thanks for the input.
 
put a short "selling point" under the image and a blue link saying "apply now»"

space everything out a bit better so the lander leads the eye. get rid of that call to action button and replace it with a better one. swipe one from Amazon or so.

also, put some inline links in the paragraphs too since people click them
 
Spell check - sastisfaction?
Rewrite your copy and split. Im not an expert in this, but i would try:

Remove all the 'Ifs' - be more confident in your traffic sources, people viewing this page owe a shit ton of money, period!

When using questions make them rhetorical. Try something like:

Struggling with debt? Think there no way out? You're not alone - the average American has over $10,000 in debt.

Basically you want to avoid asking questions people could say no to.
 
Here's what i notice-- you are not consistent with the percentage of debt you claim to be able to eliminate. I read up to 60% in the headline, than in the bullets it says up to 70%. Then in the highlighted example, it says if you owe 30K you will pay 16.5K -- that is neither 60% nor 70% off -- so as a potential buyer i doubt your entire LP

Also imo: your best selling angle is totally not utilized. there are no emotional triggers used at all. You are trying to make your case by using facts and facts alone ( and not to be redundant, but only for emphasis these facts are inconsistent -- the 3 variations of debt percentage I will save).
Emotion sells. I would definitely tap into fear in this scenario. Fear of failure as an example but by no means the definitive fear angle that might be utilized. I'd probably throw in a bit of embarrassment too, just for good measure.
Tap into emotions properly and you will get results.
 
Shit, in case anyone reading doesn't know this -- and of course you have to back up the emotions with the facts (weave them in smoothly), to justify the purchase. I think it was Zig Ziglar who coined the phrase emotional logic. As someome who was in face to face sales for a few years, I can personally attest to its effectiveness.
 
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