I have a huge joke mysql database for sale if anyone is interested. I used to run a joke website but its now been down for a few years and I have no time to get it back up.
I am selling it at 150$ a copy and will give out the first 3 copies for 100$. If any one is interested or has any questions please send me a PM.
Jokes: 33133
Categories: 63
Script Size: 29 MB
No Resell rights
Database Tables:
CREATE TABLE `joke_list` (
`joke_id` bigint(20) NOT NULL AUTO_INCREMENT,
`cat_id` int(10) unsigned DEFAULT NULL,
`joke_title` varchar(255) DEFAULT NULL,
`joke_desc` longtext,
PRIMARY KEY (`joke_id`)
)
CREATE TABLE `cat_list` (
`cat_id` bigint(20) NOT NULL AUTO_INCREMENT,
`cat_title` varchar(255) DEFAULT NULL,
PRIMARY KEY (`cat_id`),
UNIQUE KEY `cat_title` (`cat_title`)
)
Joke Categories:
Animal
Answering Machine
Aviation
Bar
Blind
Blonde
Business
Car Bumpers
Celebrity
Chistes chistosos
Computer
Crazy
Diet / Weight Loss
Doctor
Dumb Laws
English
Ethnic
Famous Quotes
Farmer
Food
Foul Language
Funny Ads
Funny signs
Gender humor
General / Unsorted
Genie
Golf
Idiots
In the news
Indian
Insults
Jewish
Knock-knock
Lawyer
Lightbulb
Little Johnny/Jane
Love and marriage
Math
Medical
Military
Music
Naughty
Office
Old Age
One Liners
Police
Political
Pun Fun
Redneck
Religious
Riddles
Science
Seasonal / Holiday
Sports
Stupid
Tasteless
Terms and definitions
Thoughts
Top Lists
Travel
True Stories
Work
Yo Mama
Here are a few joke examples:
A very depressed man
There's a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I''ll buy you another drink. I just can''t stand seeing a man crying."
"No, it''s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I''m late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife sleeping with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
Better than old days
A couple married forty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road.
The woman said, "Sweetheart, let''s do the same thing we did here forty years ago."
The guy stopped the car. His wife backed against the fence and they made love like never before.
Back in the car, the guy says, "Darling, you sure never moved like that forty years ago - or any time since that I can remember!"
The woman says, "Forty years ago that fence wasn''t electrified!"
Grandfather & Grandson fishing
One day, this young boy and his Grandfather were fishing in a boat out on a lake. The Grandfather pulls out a beer from his cooler and starts drinking it. The boy asks "Grandpa, can I have one of those?" Grandpa replies, "When your willie''s long enough to touch your ass, then you''ll be old enough and I will give you one."
A little later the Grandfather pulls out a long cigar. The boy asks "Grandpa, can I have one of those?" He replies " If your willie can touch your ass, then you can have one."
Later that day the boy pulls out a snack pack and starts eating it. The Grandfather asks, "Grandson, can I get one of those?"
The boy asks, "Can your willie touch your ass?"
The Grandfather says "Yes it can."
The boy says, "Then go screw yourself."
I am selling it at 150$ a copy and will give out the first 3 copies for 100$. If any one is interested or has any questions please send me a PM.
Jokes: 33133
Categories: 63
Script Size: 29 MB
No Resell rights
Database Tables:
CREATE TABLE `joke_list` (
`joke_id` bigint(20) NOT NULL AUTO_INCREMENT,
`cat_id` int(10) unsigned DEFAULT NULL,
`joke_title` varchar(255) DEFAULT NULL,
`joke_desc` longtext,
PRIMARY KEY (`joke_id`)
)
CREATE TABLE `cat_list` (
`cat_id` bigint(20) NOT NULL AUTO_INCREMENT,
`cat_title` varchar(255) DEFAULT NULL,
PRIMARY KEY (`cat_id`),
UNIQUE KEY `cat_title` (`cat_title`)
)
Joke Categories:
Animal
Answering Machine
Aviation
Bar
Blind
Blonde
Business
Car Bumpers
Celebrity
Chistes chistosos
Computer
Crazy
Diet / Weight Loss
Doctor
Dumb Laws
English
Ethnic
Famous Quotes
Farmer
Food
Foul Language
Funny Ads
Funny signs
Gender humor
General / Unsorted
Genie
Golf
Idiots
In the news
Indian
Insults
Jewish
Knock-knock
Lawyer
Lightbulb
Little Johnny/Jane
Love and marriage
Math
Medical
Military
Music
Naughty
Office
Old Age
One Liners
Police
Political
Pun Fun
Redneck
Religious
Riddles
Science
Seasonal / Holiday
Sports
Stupid
Tasteless
Terms and definitions
Thoughts
Top Lists
Travel
True Stories
Work
Yo Mama
Here are a few joke examples:
A very depressed man
There's a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I''ll buy you another drink. I just can''t stand seeing a man crying."
"No, it''s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I''m late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife sleeping with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
Better than old days
A couple married forty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road.
The woman said, "Sweetheart, let''s do the same thing we did here forty years ago."
The guy stopped the car. His wife backed against the fence and they made love like never before.
Back in the car, the guy says, "Darling, you sure never moved like that forty years ago - or any time since that I can remember!"
The woman says, "Forty years ago that fence wasn''t electrified!"
Grandfather & Grandson fishing
One day, this young boy and his Grandfather were fishing in a boat out on a lake. The Grandfather pulls out a beer from his cooler and starts drinking it. The boy asks "Grandpa, can I have one of those?" Grandpa replies, "When your willie''s long enough to touch your ass, then you''ll be old enough and I will give you one."
A little later the Grandfather pulls out a long cigar. The boy asks "Grandpa, can I have one of those?" He replies " If your willie can touch your ass, then you can have one."
Later that day the boy pulls out a snack pack and starts eating it. The Grandfather asks, "Grandson, can I get one of those?"
The boy asks, "Can your willie touch your ass?"
The Grandfather says "Yes it can."
The boy says, "Then go screw yourself."
