Hilarious "Web Hosting/Search Engine/SEO" Telemarketing Phone Call

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natekapi

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Dec 27, 2006
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I just got an awesome call while I happened to be surfing Wickedfire at work. It made my day basically and thought a lot of members would find it just as funny as I did. I just wish I had more fun with the guy. I should try to get the guys number off the caller id so I can post it here and we can look up their "web hosting company."

So anyways, the caller was looking for "the person who manages the website" which happens to be me and he explained how he was calling from some web hosting company that no one gives a shit about or has heard of. He offered to "index our website for a one time fee of only $19.99!" I started laughing but politely told him that we definitely were not interested. He started explaining how we were losing a lot of traffic without using their service. He sounded super cocky at this point but also sounded like SUCH an douche bag. He asked if we offered this random keyword related to our industry and I told him that we did and he quickly replied that we were slipping in the search engines because we weren't using their service and losing money because of it! I said "Good! Thats awesome!" and hung up. (I monitor our spots in the SERPS pretty closely and we're definitely NOT dropping or any crap like that. Our site has a TON of trust from Google (and the other two) because they registered the domain back in the late 90s and we have good content that gets updated pretty often.)

So WTF? Are we really at the point in 2008 where people call you out of the blue, with what seems little or no knowledge or understanding of search engines, web hosting or seo, and try to sell this shit to some other dumbass webmaster for $20 a pop?

Next time someone calls offering some shit like this I'm going to tell them to index my ass you fucking flute!!!
 


awwwww... you should have played with the guy a bit more.

You:"So what exactly would you do for us?"
- Try prying their "winning techniques" out of him for 10 minutes, take notes
Him: "Spouting SEO for beginners"
You: "So, you are saying that we should include douchebag more, enhance our title tags, use a faster webserver and optimize our metas, right?"
Him: "Yes, and we are offering it for the flat fee of.."
You:" Well, thanks. I had not thought of all that, but I can do that myself. Cheers, dude![click]"

::emp::
 
i get calls like that all the fuckin time. i always try to mess with them, but sometimes they are just too annoying
 
That's as good as some registrar I received letters from asking me to renew my domains for $40+ a year.

WARNING - DON"T LOSE YOUR DOMAIN, RENEW NOW FOR ONLY $40 A YEAR.

Don't you think if I registered the name I know how much it costs? Douchebags.

Their business model relies on finding idiots who think they can buy #1 Google rankings for 20 bucks.
 
I get the same letters from registrars, except they want to charge me $100 a year. Fuck that shit.
 
A company I've done SEO work for once received a cold call like that.

The caller kept looking up relevant keywords while on the phone with company, but they happend to be number 1 or 2 every single time until he just went "WTF - how did you do that?"!
 
LOL...I get these too. I once even got a call from some indian guy who said "I was looking at your site and I am very impressed"...but he was referring to a site that I only had an UNDER CONSTRUCTION page on. I laughed and said "really...your are impressed with my site? what do you like about it?" he kinda fumbled for a minute, as I heard him franticly typing in the address...
When he finally saw it, he tried to backpedal, but I just called him an idiot and hung up.
At least look at my damn site before calling...ass-hats!!!
 
jason407 said:
LOL...I get these too. I once even got a call from some indian guy who said "I was looking at your site and I am very impressed"...but he was referring to a site that I only had an UNDER CONSTRUCTION page on. I laughed and said "really...your are impressed with my site? what do you like about it?" he kinda fumbled for a minute, as I heard him franticly typing in the address...
When he finally saw it, he tried to backpedal, but I just called him an idiot and hung up.
At least look at my damn site before calling...ass-hats!!!
Click to expand...

Haha that's great. I wonder if your telemarketer and my telemarketer know each other.
 
apples and oranges... hardly. don't know why you took offense. have a feeling you read something into my post that wasn't there. let it go. and don't worry about me, kid. i'm getting ready to blow this shit up (sans the hassle of client interaction). thanks wf.
 
radio said:
apples and oranges... hardly. don't know why you took offense. have a feeling you read something into my post that wasn't there. let it go. and don't worry about me, kid. i'm getting ready to blow this shit up (sans the hassle of client interaction). thanks wf.
Click to expand...

Oh, I never took any offense. I wanted to clarify that I never advocated slimy cold-calling tactics. You're the one that can't seem to wrap your head around that.

But I'm not surprised, either. I remember that you were the same n00b that tried to flame me for not cussing enough in my posts a while back. So I'm pretty familiar with your maturity level, sport.

Every n00b is "about to blow this shit up." The whole point of the post I made that you linked to was to try to inspire you to actually do it this year.


:disgust: Fuck! I'm about to give up on the new breed of WF member. Some of you are as brainless as the average DP member but are only over here because you're allowed to cuss.
 
m0rtal said:
That's as good as some registrar I received letters from asking me to renew my domains for $40+ a year.

WARNING - DON"T LOSE YOUR DOMAIN, RENEW NOW FOR ONLY $40 A YEAR.

Don't you think if I registered the name I know how much it costs? Douchebags.
Click to expand...


Domain Registrars of America.

Got one of their letters yesterday.
 
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