Welcome. Thanks for joining, it's terrific to have you on board. You're clearly all potentially worthy of Premium Member status, so hopefully we can iron out this ridiculous oversight as soon as possible.
I've no doubt you'll enjoy your time here almost as much as we'll enjoy yours. Hopefully you can start some threads soon, and send some private messages, as clearly you're simply itching to spread your knowledge.
We just don't have enough evidence of genius on these boards, so I'm quite excited to start taking part in your deep and insightful threads.
And a little trick to help you (because I love you). Send a pm to Grindstone (he's the only one who you can pm) and he can enable private messaging and thread starting abilities for you.