Funny Craigslist: To the woman that crapped in my car… (NE Portland)

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ahtran

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Oct 27, 2008
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Reply to: pers-1007823954@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-01-25, 8:53PM PST



We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me” was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,
Tad

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…



Link to post on Craigslist: To the woman that crapped in my car…
 


"P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché… "

Classic
 
All this talk about crapping reminded me of something I saw earlier:

Daniel Kemp said:
- I started the day with a huge #2. It upset me cause it looked like everything I ate the day before just came out, so I didn't workout.

- I really wanted to drink a Pepsi, but I drank some chocolate syrup instead.
 
Really funny but too bad so obviously fake :) Like why would this guy write a craiglist posting hoping she reads it if he was able to send her Pepto before and knew where to send it.
 
Gross!

And if she comes back. What if the guy liberated her and she starts pooping everywhere like a little puppy? Dude's gonna be spending a lot of time cleaning up after her or would have to buy a large litter box.
 
It's pretty common for women in Portland to shit their pants. I'm not surprised.
 
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