What does your GF/Significant other do with their lives?

leadsupplier

leadsupplier

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Aug 11, 2009
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I know this isn't the best place to ask about relationship advice, but at least most of you are in a more similar position to me than most ppl i know.

Back story:

My GF just got into grad school and we are supposed to live together. She calls me up today asking about how she thinks we're going to fight over stupid things when we live together. I tell her that the only time i'd ever argue with her is if i think she's slacking on her schoolwork and not trying as hard as she can. This led to an argument between us where she stated that "People are born smarter than other people" with which i countered "thats not true". Still she continued to tell me that it's "impossible" for her to do well on tests. While i believe it's something that can be fixed if she really tried hard enough.

Bottom line is that i think anyone can achieve anything no matter how smart/stupid they are as long as they are willing to work at it, and put their mind and dedication to it, especially something like grad school. But after this conversation with her, i now know that she does not share a similar view. This is a big deal for me.

So what does your GF or significant other do for a living, and what is their outlook on life and whats achievable? Are they similar to you? Do you not give a fuck what they think? Just looking to hear about other peoples situations.
 


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leadsupplier said:
Bottom line is that i think anyone can achieve anything no matter how smart/stupid they are as long as they are willing to work at it, and put their mind and dedication to it, especially something like grad school. But after this conversation with her, i now know that she does not share a similar view. This is a big deal for me.
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Step 1 is to realize that you're 100% wrong about this. :)

You couldn't beat Roger Federer in tennis no matter how hard you tried or how many years you practiced. You simply weren't born with the skills he was born with.

I could give you 500 other examples...
 
wife runs the marketing department at a major corp headquarters so our conversations are always fueled by marketing etc.

regarding moving in, etc - i had a ton of "relationship problems" with exes all over the places but when you meet the right person you will know that moving in will not only be ok but very organic and fun as well...good luck brosef
 
leadsupplier said:
Bottom line is that i think anyone can achieve anything no matter how smart/stupid they are as long as they are willing to work at it, and put their mind and dedication to it, especially something like grad school.
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dsiomtw said:
Step 1 is to realize that you're 100% wrong about this. :)

You couldn't beat Roger Federer in tennis no matter how hard you tried or how many years you practiced. You simply weren't born with the skills he was born with.

I could give you 500 other examples...
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you missed my point where i said "Especially something like grad school". If you want to be extreme like your example i agree. But studying hard and learning material and concepts is something i think most people can really acheive, especially if it's something theyre interested in.



shawnhag said:
wife runs the marketing department at a major corp headquarters so our conversations are always fueled by marketing etc.

regarding moving in, etc - i had a ton of "relationship problems" with exes all over the places but when you meet the right person you will know that moving in will not only be ok but very organic and fun as well...good luck brosef
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i'm fine w/ moving in, i just told her i'd have an issue if she was doing shitty in school and didn't give 110%, that led to the whole argument.
 
leadsupplier said:
you missed my point where i said "Especially something like grad school". If you want to be extreme like your example i agree. But studying hard and learning material and concepts is something i think most people can really acheive, especially if it's something theyre interested in.
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No, you missed the point. Some people are fucking stupid and have no common sense. This can't be taught or learned. You either have it or you don't. Some people are born to succeed, and others are born to lose at life. It's a fact.
 
The way I look at it your natural born intelligence is a ceiling. You can achieve up to that ceiling and how close you get to that ceiling depends on how hard you work, how dedicated you are, etc.

I think saying "I can't do well on tests" is a cop-out for most people; if you were smart enough to get into grad school you are probably smart enough to get through it with decent grades if you work hard at it. Now depending on how smart you are that might take you 1 hour/week of studying or 40 hours/week of studying.
 
I don't think your goals/views have to align perfectly. For instance my wife is finishing up her degree to be a high school teacher (not a very ambitious career in my eyes), but that is what she wants. The reason why this isn't a problem for me is because of how she views money. . . .

She isn't the typical chick who says of course I bought clothes it was on sale how can you pass up a good deal. In other words she realizes that there is work and time that goes into acquiring money.

Second, I find my self to be very ambitious. I work full time from 8-6 at a bank, come home spend time with our kids then I start working on ads. She understands that I do not want to live a mediocre life so she doesn't bitch about me working all the time. She didn't bitch when I was losing money in stocks because she knew I was smart enough to figure it out which I did, same with AM I was in the hole 6k and she didn't care specially when I made it all make alot faster than when i lost it educating myself.


She also understands that when I do come across a good portion of money I will be investing it in real estate not purse and shoes.



I guess I should have just written these three sentences. . .






She supports my desire to create my own wealth. She doesn't have to want the same things as me. She just has to fuck good.
 
leadsupplier said:
you missed my point where i said "Especially something like grad school". If you want to be extreme like your example i agree. But studying hard and learning material and concepts is something i think most people can really acheive, especially if it's something theyre interested in.





i'm fine w/ moving in, i just told her i'd have an issue if she was doing shitty in school and didn't give 110%, that led to the whole argument.
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school is not real life bro you just need C's to get your degree that should be good enough. . .
 
Get a 2nd and 3rd girlfriend so your main girl is always on her toes. She'll never want to be "right" ever again.
 
She texts me all day from her phone to my facebook messages because she knows I'm always online and complains about her lunch, her period, her everything. But she's super hot, soooooo..... Whatevs.

P.S. Oh and the more I ignore her the more mysterious I am to her and she seems to want me even more than when I try to pay her constant attention. Sooooooo.... Whatevs.
 
My wife is a elementary teacher and she doesn't care too much about big money.

She would probably rather I work less and go on more vacations and stuff. But I love this stuff too much, so work is like a vacation.
 
my girl is going to be a teacher as well. and i'm cool with that. she respects my ambition and doesn't mind me working. but at times shes just an immature person with a short attention span and gets mad if i try to reason with her.

like:

her: "i study so much and i still do bad sometimes"
me: "you can fix that shit if you just identify your problem and work at it"
her: "i've tried everything, it's just a fact that i do shitty sometimes"
me: "that the dumbest thing i've ever heard"
her: "OMG ARE YOUR SERIOUS I'M HANGING UP RIGHT NOW"

it's like talking to a child who doesn't have the capacity to think logically yet or listen to reason so they just get angry and throw a tantrum instead lol
 
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